( Hermione has given herself a mo to collect herself so that when the feed comes up, she may still look sad, but she isn't crying and she's taken steps to make sure it doesn't look as though she has been. )
Peter...I don't know if you remember me and, if you do, I reckon we got off on a poor start, which wasn't at all your fault. It's a bit of a story I'm glad to tell you if you like, sometime, but it's neither here nor there just now.
( She does, however, look a bit flustered because she's not really sure how she ought to respond. She can relate to the loss of his uncle, but her parents are still alive, they're just not available to her, and she's not quite sure it's respectful to relate in that way. )
Erm...only, I thought you should know that I've had a memory that I reckon belongs to you. I'm so sorry about your uncle. It felt...
( She pauses again, blinking rapidly against the prickle in her eyes because she can feel them threatening tears again. It had been like she'd been there, but moreover, it mattered to her. She felt deeply upset and then guilty in a way that made no sense since she'd never met the man. She'd felt what he'd been feeling, she reckons, because she remembers it as though it were her life; her uncle. )
I hope you aren't still blaming yourself. That's a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders when you didn't do anything wrong. You were a kid acting like a kid. That's all. ...I'm so sorry, maybe I shouldn't—never mind. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. It isn't my place. I didn't mean to bother you.
[ He does remember her and he doesn't remember their start being that bad, but maybe he's being overly optimistic. Regardless of how good or bad it was, she knows first hand what it was like to lose Ben and that is something that he wishes she didn't.
He smiles faintly at her, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ] Hi, Hermione. I'm sorry you had to see that. [ He inhales deeply. ] You're not bothering me. I appreciate you saying something.
I think that's something I'm never going to forgive myself for, but I do forget sometimes that I was just a kid. I didn't know what was going to happen, or I never would have... [ He shrugs uncomfortably. ]
There's a difference between regretting your past decisions and never forgiving yourself, though, and you need to do the latter if you ever want to heal.
( That advice, perhaps, is a bit of projection, but he could use it, anyhow, she tells herself. )
We all do things or don't do things we wish we could take back. But you can't ever be happy if you don't give yourself at least the grace that they would've given you.
( ...blimey, that is projection, 'mione, she thinks to herself. Then, not realizing she's looked away from the screen until just now, she looks back, maybe a bit more emotional than she ought to be. )
[ He knows she means well and he does appreciate her trying to give him a hand up, but he also knows he doesn't have the answer she wants from him.
Still, there's something about her that reminds him a little of Gwen. A self-assuredness that comes from having some of the answers that everyone else doesn't. He gives her a small smile, lips pressed together sympathetically when she looks back. ]
( For once, she's honest, and she reckons that's more to do with the fact that he looks like Remus than that she's comfortable actually doing it on her own. So, she shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders a little, frowning slightly. )
Not really, no, if I'm being entirely honest. But...
( She takes a deep breath and huffs it out in a long-suffering sigh. )
I'll manage. I always manage. Have you been bombarded with other people's memories yet, as well?
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portalhopping2022-11-25 10:58 pm
video; peter/hermione
Peter...I don't know if you remember me and, if you do, I reckon we got off on a poor start, which wasn't at all your fault. It's a bit of a story I'm glad to tell you if you like, sometime, but it's neither here nor there just now.
( She does, however, look a bit flustered because she's not really sure how she ought to respond. She can relate to the loss of his uncle, but her parents are still alive, they're just not available to her, and she's not quite sure it's respectful to relate in that way. )
Erm...only, I thought you should know that I've had a memory that I reckon belongs to you. I'm so sorry about your uncle. It felt...
( She pauses again, blinking rapidly against the prickle in her eyes because she can feel them threatening tears again. It had been like she'd been there, but moreover, it mattered to her. She felt deeply upset and then guilty in a way that made no sense since she'd never met the man. She'd felt what he'd been feeling, she reckons, because she remembers it as though it were her life; her uncle. )
I hope you aren't still blaming yourself. That's a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders when you didn't do anything wrong. You were a kid acting like a kid. That's all. ...I'm so sorry, maybe I shouldn't—never mind. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. It isn't my place. I didn't mean to bother you.
video; peter/hermione
He smiles faintly at her, though it doesn't reach his eyes. ] Hi, Hermione. I'm sorry you had to see that. [ He inhales deeply. ] You're not bothering me. I appreciate you saying something.
I think that's something I'm never going to forgive myself for, but I do forget sometimes that I was just a kid. I didn't know what was going to happen, or I never would have... [ He shrugs uncomfortably. ]
Thank you. For trying. I appreciate it.
video; peter/hermione
There's a difference between regretting your past decisions and never forgiving yourself, though, and you need to do the latter if you ever want to heal.
( That advice, perhaps, is a bit of projection, but he could use it, anyhow, she tells herself. )
We all do things or don't do things we wish we could take back. But you can't ever be happy if you don't give yourself at least the grace that they would've given you.
( ...blimey, that is projection, 'mione, she thinks to herself. Then, not realizing she's looked away from the screen until just now, she looks back, maybe a bit more emotional than she ought to be. )
Don't thank me yet, I'm not finished trying.
video; peter/hermione
Still, there's something about her that reminds him a little of Gwen. A self-assuredness that comes from having some of the answers that everyone else doesn't. He gives her a small smile, lips pressed together sympathetically when she looks back. ]
All right, I won't thank you yet.
Enough about me, though. Are you okay?
video; peter/hermione
Not really, no, if I'm being entirely honest. But...
( She takes a deep breath and huffs it out in a long-suffering sigh. )
I'll manage. I always manage. Have you been bombarded with other people's memories yet, as well?