portalhopping | memory share ; ota

Oh my God, I can't— I don't— this is—

( Robin stops and gets to her feet, excusing herself from the room full of girls in pajamas watching television, and moves out into the hall, down the hall, into the stairwell, and sinks down onto one of the stairs.

She doesn't know what's happening tonight, but she just wants it to stop. She needs it to stop. ...and she owes Peter a huge apology. )

[ He's surprised to see Robin pop up on his phone, but he hits the button to answer immediately, especially when he sees the look on her face. ]

Robin? Are you okay?

No, I'm not fucking okay, I'm so far from okay it's not even funny. I keep seeing other people's memories. I just saw Gw—en—

( She's been freaking out but largely holding herself outwardly together but that breaks her and she lets out a dry sob before taking a shaking breath and closing her eyes in a slow blink, her voice coming out in a high-pitched squeak because she's trying to talk around the lump in the back of her throat. )

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

( Robin swipes at her face to brush tears away and sniffs. When she speaks again, she sounds more collected but it's almost like she's shut herself down and she's running in safe mode. )

I keep seeing other people's memories and they're terrible and heartbreaking and I'm so sorry about Gwen. I promise I will never, ever bring up the idea of trying to set you up again, I promise, promise, promise.

[ Peter's throat feels like it's closing up at the sound of Gwen's name on Robin's lips. She's not supposed to know about her. But if she saw his memories... ]

Robin. [ His voice is scratchy in his throat. He wants to ask her what she saw, but he already knows. His voice goes soft, though he wishes he wasn't talking to her through a screen. ] It's okay. It was a long time ago.

[ It's not okay. It never will be, but he's not going to tell a seventeen year old girl that. ] Where are you? Are you alone?

( Robin shakes her head and takes a deep breath, but she can't let it out slowly. It just comes out in a huff and she has to suck in another breath to replace it. )

No it's not. It's not okay, it's not okay that I saw that and now I know your business, it's not okay that that happened to you, or to her, or that Alice and I are insensitive assholes, none of this is okay!

( She has to gasp for air because she's rambled out all of her breath tearfully. It's not so much that she's devastated even though she kind of is. It's more that she's feeling overwhelmed by everything she's been seeing and she's terrified of what other people might see that should belong to her. )

Steve is coming. I was at that party. Now I'm in a stairwell because first I saw Chrissy's visions of Vecna and then Alyssa getting attacked and some guy murdering her attacker and bleeding all over her and then you with—and it's just a lot. It's just a lot, it's fine, I'm fine, I mean...

( Another gasp for breath. )

I'm sorry.

Robin, you're not an insensitive asshole. But I do think you're going to pass out if you don't take a minute and try to breathe. [ His voice is soft and a little jokey, hoping that will help her calm down a little.]

[ He's glad to hear that Steve is coming for her. He doesn't want her to be alone right now.] You're not fine, but that's okay. It is a lot. It's a lot for anyone.

It's okay. Don't be sorry, just breathe, okay?

( In spite of herself, Robin lets out a sound that sounds like it's caught between a sob and a laugh. )

Maybe if I pass out, by the time I come to again, I'll have calmed down.

( Still, she does as she's told and takes another deep breath, letting it out slowly and nodding. )

I'm still sorry, though. Really.

memory share ; ota

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