[Alic doesn't realize that she's sending this video until she is - or who she is sending it to technically as her face flashes with horror and her eyes tear up and she sits down on the edge of the tub and takes a series of deep breaths before she focuses on the actual camera trying to reign it in.]
Are you - does... does horror on a Chinese place dining table mean anything to you? I don't even know you but... I think I saw some stuff from your past, r something - I don't know what's happening to me tonight, jesus.
[ Shit, he can't help thinking. It's happening again...
The important thing is that she looks incredibly upset by what she's seen. At least it was just the Jade, though. Last time they sent a young girl one of his memories, Prim had to watch him die. ]
Jesus...yeah, it does. I'm sorry you had to see that, kiddo. Frankly, I'm glad it was just the Jade. There are way, way worse things you could've been forced to see. My name is Eddie. What's your name?
It's okay to be upset, Alice, especially seeing the shit I went through because it's fucked up. Michaels...are you related to Caleb? He was a friend of my former roommate's.
Anyway, I'm sorry we had to meet this way. This sort of thing hasn't happened in a long time, but I guess we were overdue. You're seeing other people's memories. The likelihood that other people will eventually see some of yours, if they haven't already, is pretty high, so I want you to be prepared for that.
He's my older brother - and you aren't kidding this place is so fucked up. I was just getting used to it here and then bam - this.
[Alice sniffles.]
I don't have horrifying stuff to see, though. Nothing like THIS has ever happened to me - I'm just a normal, boring teenager with some superstrength that's it.
He's a good kid, he's been around for a while. I guess Richie knew him before this place so he's old hat by now. I'm surprised he didn't mention this shit happening sometimes... I'm going to go ahead and assume you are, too. I'm really sorry you got my memories and not someone with a more normal life.
[ He gives her a sympathetic look and frowns slightly. ]
It doesn't matter. Maybe you'll luck out and it won't happen but if it does, it could be anything. Anything.
This happens sometimes. It's been a while, but it happens sometimes. I'm so sorry.
What did you see?
(( consider Chrissy now on the receiving end of a flash of adult Beverly handing Eddie a broken piece of iron wrought fence and telling him that it kills monsters if he believes it does. Then, Eddie's last stand. ))
It. You saw It. I died fighting It, but my friends killed It. It can't ever hurt anybody again. And I know it must've been pretty fucking awful to see that, but I'm here now. I'm safe and I'm okay. And I've been in therapy for years trying to work through the trauma, but I'll get there. I'm really sorry you had to see that, but I'm okay, I promise.
I know. We all did. It was playing with us; that's what It did. It fed off our fear. Better me than more innocent children. That fucking clown murdered kids. I don't know why it latched onto the Losers, but it did, so we had to kill it. I feel pretty okay with dying if it means they defeated It in the end and It couldn't hurt anybody ever again.
That doesn't make it better for you to have to have seen it, though. I wish you hadn't. I know it's hard.
I know. I know, Chrissy. It was the first time I was ever truly brave about anything in my life. And the last time, I guess. In that life, at least.
I don't know how it happens, or why, it just does sometimes. I wish I had better answers for you, sweetheart, I really do. Do you want to come home? Or are you okay staying where you are? You can tell them I said you need to come help babysit if you need an excuse to leave.
We're pulling the plug on our girl's weekend. Alice left to get something a while ago and I think she saw something, I did, Lydia saw how I died. I think that it's working it's way through all of us .
And I'm going to wait on Eddie to come back, honestly. I'm a little afraid of moving again and seeing something else from someone else, which is probably silly.
That sounds about right. It starts with one or two of us and then works its way through the majority of us at some point or another.
I'll be honest with you, kiddo, it's not going to matter if you stay frozen to the spot for a week...that's not going to stop it if it's still coming. All you can do is endure it and try to remember it's all in the past. It's over. It's hard to see, but it's over. I wish I knew how to stop it for you, I really do.
I don't like seeing how the people that I love and care about suffered. Or how the darkest moments of their life went. I know nobody can stop it it's out of our control and so much is it's just hard.
I know, but you know what else I know? I know that you're one of the bravest, strongest people I know and I know you can do it.
None of us do. None of us wants to see it or feel it or even know it. But, on the plus side, since it's happening to all of us, we tend to leave it alone after it's all over. It doesn't make it suck less knowing that people already saw it, but it's kind of nice that it's mostly understood that we just don't talk about it after it's over.
That depends, but I'm guessing you saw It, as well. Sorry, kid...my life was fucked up before this place. What did you see? You okay? I know it's a lot.
How am I so normal? Who the fuck said I was normal?
That fucking clown could shapeshift into anything that you were afraid of...and it fucking fed on fear. Did you see me die, too, then? If so, I'm sorry about that, too.
I'm not normal, man, I've just been through years of therapy. And, believe it or not, there were 27 years of memories just straight up wiped out of my brain that I didn't remember until I went back to that hellhole.
Yeah, let's just hope Chrissy didn't see it, because that's the last fucking thing she needs.
Well, you're pretty well adjusted for that level of horrific shit. I meant it as a compliment, not to knock what you've been through. I just, would never have guessed you went through that.
Fuck. Guess it was asking to much that we be left the fuck alone.
Any chance thousands of dollars of weed will do the same trick?
I really don't know how kids deal with this shit. How anyone does. At least I was almost twenty before I found out this shit was real. Not that it helped any.
Your guess is as good as mine. I've never tried it. Doubtful, but hey...you never know. Deal with your shit however you need to deal with it, Eddie. It's all you can do.
I don't really think there's a good time to learn this shit is real. And, you know, 20 is still a kid. Legally, maybe not, but psychologically, we don't mature until we're 25. So don't think you should've, somehow, been more prepared to deal with it than a younger kid would be just cause you're an older one.
If I had things my way, none of us would've had to deal with it, but it is what it is, whether we like it or not.
Well, if you ever do want to give it a try, I can help you out with it. No kidding, it can do wonders on helping you to let go for a little while and hug your sanity close.
What if my way of dealing with it is not dealing with it?
Yeah, well, I know a bunch of kids back home that are dealing with it a lot better than I did/am. I really hope they get what they need and end up like you. I know you're probably not okay after all of that, but I've seen the way you are with Chrissy. You're one of the good ones, Eddie. Even if you have every right to not be.
I can't, I have asthma. I HAD asthma. I...anyway, thank you, but I think I'm gonna pass.
That's valid too. Not forever, but for now. For a while. And when you're ready to deal with it, there are a handful of professionals around here that can help. That work with Supers. They might not get it as far as the shit we've experienced, but they make good sounding boards you don't have to worry about freaking out.
Yeah, well, I have it on good authority that no two people are the same, Eds. It is what it is. You haven't had time to be desensitized to it. Maybe they'd been dealing with it longer and they felt like this when they first started, I don't know, but what I do know is that you're beating yourself up over nothing.
I'm good with Chrissy for the same reason I'm good with Olivia and the twins. I always wanted kids and I couldn't have them. So I just...project that onto the children around me, evidently.
Like a shrink? I don't know about that. I mean, it's going to sound pretty fucking insane to anyone that hasn't seen it firsthand. Plus, it wasn't as if I was doing spectacular before all this shit. I was just dealing with it a lot better you know with pot, D&D and music.
I should really pick up D&D again.
You're good with her because you care about her. You could've treated her like a teenage roommate, but instead you treat her like family. She needs that.
No, she deserves that. So thanks for giving her what she deserves.
Yeah, they call 'em therapists now, but yeah. Like a shrink. Trust me, they've heard plenty of insane shit from other Supers, but they don't have to get it, they just have to "hold space" or whatever the fuck, for you. Just be there as a sounding board while you process it out loud. That helped me a lot.
Ahhh, a D&D guy. I always wanted to learn how to play that, but my friends were more into the outdoors, so we mostly stuck to comic books if we were going to do anything other than building dams in the Barrens. Or, you know, trying not to get our asses kicked by Henry Bowers and his gang of assholes or being eaten by a kid-killing clown from outer space.
Yeah, I care about her a lot. She's a good kid who got dealt a shitty hand, kind of like I was. Chrissy and I have a lot of fucked up things in common, actually. I treat her like family because, by now, she feels like it.
But you know what else she deserves? A guy who loves her for her and not for the fact that she looks good on his arm and, from what I've heard, that's what I gather Jason was like. So thanks for giving her the other half of what she deserves. We make a good team, Eddie-squared to the rescue.
Jesus fucking Christ, the fortune cookies. Goddamn. Gives me the willies just thinking about it again. I was in a cast the rest of the summer and I only got one signature. Greta Keene wrote LOSER in huge letters on it. Little bitch. My friends changed the S to a V.
Ha, shit, I don't know. Could be both. Other than managing to bag two of the most eligible bachelors in Eglaf, what else do you have going on these days, huh?
video;
[Alic doesn't realize that she's sending this video until she is - or who she is sending it to technically as her face flashes with horror and her eyes tear up and she sits down on the edge of the tub and takes a series of deep breaths before she focuses on the actual camera trying to reign it in.]
Are you - does... does horror on a Chinese place dining table mean anything to you? I don't even know you but... I think I saw some stuff from your past, r something - I don't know what's happening to me tonight, jesus.
video;
The important thing is that she looks incredibly upset by what she's seen. At least it was just the Jade, though. Last time they sent a young girl one of his memories, Prim had to watch him die. ]
Jesus...yeah, it does. I'm sorry you had to see that, kiddo. Frankly, I'm glad it was just the Jade. There are way, way worse things you could've been forced to see. My name is Eddie. What's your name?
Re: video;
First I see Pietro get bombed and shot up now this...what the fuck is happening today?
[Alice looks at the camera, teary-eyed despite trying to keep a brave face.]
Re: video;
Anyway, I'm sorry we had to meet this way. This sort of thing hasn't happened in a long time, but I guess we were overdue. You're seeing other people's memories. The likelihood that other people will eventually see some of yours, if they haven't already, is pretty high, so I want you to be prepared for that.
video;
[Alice sniffles.]
I don't have horrifying stuff to see, though. Nothing like THIS has ever happened to me - I'm just a normal, boring teenager with some superstrength that's it.
video;
[ He gives her a sympathetic look and frowns slightly. ]
It doesn't matter. Maybe you'll luck out and it won't happen but if it does, it could be anything. Anything.
text;
I saw some things. Things that happened to you and I'm kind of scared...
text;
What did you see?
(( consider Chrissy now on the receiving end of a flash of adult Beverly handing Eddie a broken piece of iron wrought fence and telling him that it kills monsters if he believes it does. Then, Eddie's last stand. ))
text;
Eddie you went through hell - it, whatever it was broke your arm and then it brought horrors to life and...
And I saw you die, Eddie. I saw you try to fight it and then it got you that horrifying clown thing
text;
It. You saw It. I died fighting It, but my friends killed It. It can't ever hurt anybody again. And I know it must've been pretty fucking awful to see that, but I'm here now. I'm safe and I'm okay. And I've been in therapy for years trying to work through the trauma, but I'll get there. I'm really sorry you had to see that, but I'm okay, I promise.
Are you going to be?
text;
I don't know there was so much blood and you were thrown so far. I knew you'd had something happen to you but I never imagined it was so bad
text;
That doesn't make it better for you to have to have seen it, though. I wish you hadn't. I know it's hard.
text;
I don't like this. Robin is seeing things too Eddie she saw me. She saw what happened to me and what he did, how he killed me.
Why is this happening? And how?
text;
I don't know how it happens, or why, it just does sometimes. I wish I had better answers for you, sweetheart, I really do. Do you want to come home? Or are you okay staying where you are? You can tell them I said you need to come help babysit if you need an excuse to leave.
text;
And I'm going to wait on Eddie to come back, honestly. I'm a little afraid of moving again and seeing something else from someone else, which is probably silly.
text;
I'll be honest with you, kiddo, it's not going to matter if you stay frozen to the spot for a week...that's not going to stop it if it's still coming. All you can do is endure it and try to remember it's all in the past. It's over. It's hard to see, but it's over. I wish I knew how to stop it for you, I really do.
text;
I don't like seeing how the people that I love and care about suffered. Or how the darkest moments of their life went. I know nobody can stop it it's out of our control and so much is it's just hard.
text;
None of us do. None of us wants to see it or feel it or even know it. But, on the plus side, since it's happening to all of us, we tend to leave it alone after it's all over. It doesn't make it suck less knowing that people already saw it, but it's kind of nice that it's mostly understood that we just don't talk about it after it's over.
text;
Is that one of your memories, man?
Jesus H. Christ. How are you so normal?
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How am I so normal? Who the fuck said I was normal?
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I did. How the hell have you held it together after all that?
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I'm not normal, man, I've just been through years of therapy. And, believe it or not, there were 27 years of memories just straight up wiped out of my brain that I didn't remember until I went back to that hellhole.
text;
Well, you're pretty well adjusted for that level of horrific shit. I meant it as a compliment, not to knock what you've been through. I just, would never have guessed you went through that.
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Thanks to thousands of dollars of intense EMDR therapy. I didn't do it by myself, that's for damn sure.
Stan was there, too, you know. When we were kids, anyway.
text;
Any chance thousands of dollars of weed will do the same trick?
I really don't know how kids deal with this shit. How anyone does. At least I was almost twenty before I found out this shit was real. Not that it helped any.
text;
Your guess is as good as mine. I've never tried it. Doubtful, but hey...you never know. Deal with your shit however you need to deal with it, Eddie. It's all you can do.
I don't really think there's a good time to learn this shit is real. And, you know, 20 is still a kid. Legally, maybe not, but psychologically, we don't mature until we're 25. So don't think you should've, somehow, been more prepared to deal with it than a younger kid would be just cause you're an older one.
If I had things my way, none of us would've had to deal with it, but it is what it is, whether we like it or not.
text;
What if my way of dealing with it is not dealing with it?
Yeah, well, I know a bunch of kids back home that are dealing with it a lot better than I did/am. I really hope they get what they need and end up like you. I know you're probably not okay after all of that, but I've seen the way you are with Chrissy. You're one of the good ones, Eddie. Even if you have every right to not be.
text;
That's valid too. Not forever, but for now. For a while. And when you're ready to deal with it, there are a handful of professionals around here that can help. That work with Supers. They might not get it as far as the shit we've experienced, but they make good sounding boards you don't have to worry about freaking out.
Yeah, well, I have it on good authority that no two people are the same, Eds. It is what it is. You haven't had time to be desensitized to it. Maybe they'd been dealing with it longer and they felt like this when they first started, I don't know, but what I do know is that you're beating yourself up over nothing.
I'm good with Chrissy for the same reason I'm good with Olivia and the twins. I always wanted kids and I couldn't have them. So I just...project that onto the children around me, evidently.
text;
I mean, it's going to sound pretty fucking insane to anyone that hasn't seen it firsthand. Plus, it wasn't as if I was doing spectacular before all this shit.
I was just dealing with it a lot better you know with pot, D&D and music.
I should really pick up D&D again.
You're good with her because you care about her. You could've treated her like a teenage roommate, but instead you treat her like family. She needs that.
No, she deserves that. So thanks for giving her what she deserves.
text;
Ahhh, a D&D guy. I always wanted to learn how to play that, but my friends were more into the outdoors, so we mostly stuck to comic books if we were going to do anything other than building dams in the Barrens. Or, you know, trying not to get our asses kicked by Henry Bowers and his gang of assholes or being eaten by a kid-killing clown from outer space.
Yeah, I care about her a lot. She's a good kid who got dealt a shitty hand, kind of like I was. Chrissy and I have a lot of fucked up things in common, actually. I treat her like family because, by now, she feels like it.
But you know what else she deserves? A guy who loves her for her and not for the fact that she looks good on his arm and, from what I've heard, that's what I gather Jason was like. So thanks for giving her the other half of what she deserves. We make a good team, Eddie-squared to the rescue.
text;
Do you think that there's any part of this that is just something cosmically making us for not talking as much lately or just usual portal fuckery?
text;
Ha, shit, I don't know. Could be both. Other than managing to bag two of the most eligible bachelors in Eglaf, what else do you have going on these days, huh?