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WHO: Chrissy Cunningham & Lydia Martin
WHAT: Chrissy is staying over
WHEN: During Eddie K's time away
WHERE: Lydia & Eddie M's apartment.

"Thanks for letting me stay while Eddie's out of town again - I really appreciate it." She's already thanked Lydia - and Eddie - several times. And it's not like she wasn't staying probably just as much before her roommate decided that he needed to get away and take a break out of town. Still, it's different when you can go home and stay home any time in the process versus feeling like if you go home you need someone there with you - and that's the bizarre place that Chrissy is in at the moment.

It's still too hard to be alone for very long - for a multitude of reasons. The top two are pretty big doozies, though. She knows that if she's left alone with the urge to purge, the need - the fight with not just doing it, eating, and then purging it up to get the relief - will come back in full force. It's much easier to ignore when she's around people when she's got a distraction. Chrissy knows that she's supposed to be telling people to help her with her accountability and so that she's not continuing to hide her problem and become healthier, but it's just... hard. And then there's the fact that any time she's alone every noise scares her - every noise makes her wonder if Vecna is back and she can practically hear the grandfather clock striking in her head, feel the foreboding and the intrusive, dangerous nature around her again. It's not real, but the trauma still creeps back up every time she spends very much time alone. Chrissy wishes that it didn't, but she hasn't worked passed that point in all of this yet. And between those two things, it's impossible to stay alone and not give in or then sink back down.

And Chrissy really is trying to get better.

Maybe that's how she wound up in Lydia's bedroom looking for something to wear, or maybe it's an attempt to bond and people please considering Lydia has wanted to share clothes for a while - after all Chrissy can admit that shopping and finding actual clothes outside of her trips with Lydia and Klaus hasn't been a priority. Everything she's gotten without them is shapeless, easy to hide in, and could otherwise qualify as a potato sack - and it's definitely because of her mother, because of her eating disorder, because of the way she sees herself - and maybe she wants to look nice for Eddie, but as she looks through Lydia's closet Chrissy's not entirely sure what she's looking for, which is probably why she gives up after a moment of looking and plops down on Lydia's bed. "How do you decide what to wear - or what looks good on you?" Chrissy manages to blurt out, in her soft tone. "All of that looks like it'd look great on you, but I just don't think I can pull it off. I don't have your waist - or your curves." Chrissy feels the sting of disappointment - because she tried. And she thought it'd make Lydia happy as well as her, but it feels a bit more like it's backfiring.

Picking up the pale blue shapeless slip dress (though she would have called it a jumper back in her time) and the t-shirt she'd paired with it before Chrissy shows it to Lydia. "Does this really look that bad - I swear fashion now is just... different." Chrissy asks, wanting the feedback, but it's pretty damn clear the problem isn't the clothes. Lydia's closet is full of beautiful floral items, color, different shapes, and things that Chrissy could wear that would be cute - she just doesn't see it. Chrissy is the real problem with her lack of confidence and comparing her body and how things might look better on Lydia than on her. And so she hasn't pulled a single item to actually give a shot despite that being the entire purpose. Even though she wants to hang out with Lydia too.

It's just hard to see passed this to enjoy picking something out and the 'playing dress up' process.

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It's been kind of nice having another girl in the apartment again after it's been so long since Allison's departure. Chrissy's roommate — also an Eddie, which Lydia secretly finds highly amusing because it makes Chrissy an Eddie magnet — has gone out of town and she's been staying at their apartment in earnest while he's gone. Most of the time, it's the four of them — Klaus really might as well move in, at this point, he's here so often now that they've officially become A Thing — hanging out or Eddie and Chrissy go off and do their own thing while she and Klaus do theirs. Sometimes, it's other combinations of three while one or the other is at work or some other such thing. Tonight, though, Klaus is having dinner with his brother, and Eddie is at the bar prepping for a gig later tonight, leaving the girls on their own for the first time since Chrissy started staying over.

For a short while, they'd just been hanging out in the living room and Lydia had been showing Chrissy how to use TikTok, but then that had gotten old. Lydia suggested they go to Eddie's show and insisted that they play a little good old-fashioned dress-up to find something super cute for the show. To Lydia's absolute delight, Chrissy actually accepted the offer to raid Lydia's closet for a change. She'd all but dragged the pretty blonde into her bedroom immediately to get started. When she used to do this with Allison before dances or parties, sometimes the process could take hours, so they needed to get started.

When Chrissy only spends a few minutes looking through Lydia's closet before dropping onto the bed appearing to have given up already, Lydia deflates a little bit. Maybe she just needs to let this go. It's fun for her and it's fun for Klaus; it was fun for Allison, and even Laura, to a smaller degree when they'd been closer before drifting slightly apart when Laura had started dating Diego, but Chrissy doesn't seem to enjoy it at all. It makes Lydia feel bad, like maybe she's pushing too hard and Chrissy's not as girly a girl as she comes across. Not all cheerleaders are girly girls, after all, Lydia has to remind herself.

But then Chrissy asks her question and Lydia's eyebrows lift a little with surprise. In spite of the fact that a lot of Chrissy's clothes are pretty ill-fitting — it's like the poor kid goes out of her way to buy her clothes a size or two too big, for Christ's sake — she does have an eye for cute clothes when she's helping Lydia pick her own outfits for nights when Klaus escorts the two of them to one of Eddie's shows.

"Neither does Klaus," Lydia points out. Klaus has a much trimmer waist than Lydia, but he does not have her amble breasts or rounded hips. "And Allison didn't, either," she adds, because Allison had been more athletically built — more lithe limbs, softer curves, and a smaller chest, not to mention she'd been taller by several inches. "As for how I decide what looks good...trial and error, honey."

She shifts out of her current position where she'd been laying on her side, head propped up with an arm bent at the elbow and bicep pressing into the mattress. Lydia crawls forward a little bit and shifts to sit beside the other girl, pulling out her phone. "No, it's not that bad, but you can do better, trust me. Fashion is cyclical, so it only looks different to you because you're caught in that sweet spot right between the previous two iterations of a lot of this stuff. It was cool in the 70s and then it came back in the mid- to late-nineties, and now we're back again."

Lydia does a quick Google search to make sure the reference won't be lost on the other girl — no, it turns out, Victoria's Secret has been crushing women's self-esteem for almost fifty fucking years — and then she opens her TikTok app again.

"I want to show you something I saw come across my For You page the other day," she says as she navigates to her favorites, pulling up the video. "This girl wrote this song for a kid she babysits. I guess the girl was being kinda bullied while she and her friends were trying on bikinis at Victoria's Secret and this woman wrote this song because she'd had, like, an eating disorder when she'd been the kid's age and she's since recovered or whatever. Anyway, this is like...my new jam and I think you should hear it, too. We're always so fucking busy trying to impress men — and other women, actually, which is somehow even worse — that we're tearing ourselves to shreds. It's so dumb. Here, watch this. I'm, like, obsessed with it."

Lydia hands the phone to Chrissy and watches over the other girl's shoulder for the first verse when Chrissy taps the screen to start the video, the way Lydia showed her how.

Then, Lydia gets to her feet and starts looking through her own closet, pushing her own things out of the way hastily and pausing every so often when she comes across something that belongs to Klaus or Allison. As the video comes to an end, Lydia comes back toward the bed with an armful of Klaus's skirts and Allison's tops. "Here, try a few of these things on. Allison was built a little more like you than I am. She was more muscular than you and I are, so you probably would be swimming in her bottoms since I don't have any of her skirts, but her tops should totally fit you."

"I guess that's true - and Klaus, at least, always look pretty fantastic." Chrissy smiles - she's not sure that she ever would have thought that before, either for fear of what her mother would say or because her mother wouldn't have let her hang out with Klaus. Then again Klaus would never be caught dead in Hawkins, Indiana, and neither would any of her other new friends. And they're all the better off for it, actually. There's nothing back there that Chrissy misses that much - not even her family now that she's settled here. And she knows that is probably awful for her to think, but when she has moments like this when she thinks about how different things would be if she were still bonded by how her behaviors would have been dictated back home she'd be miserable.

The only person that she knows that she'd be allowed to be around would be Lydia and that'd be until her mom actually spoke with her newfound friend - Chrissy has no doubt that after one conversation Laura Cunningham would've driven a wedge there. And Chrissy would have been devastated. She adores Lydia, in actuality, and she can't help but wish that shew ere more like her - in more ways than one. She doesn't want to be weird though, and it's hard to show someone how much you appreciate them when you are keeping such a big part of yourself from them too.

There's a part of Chrissy that has wanted to tell Lydia for a long time bout the eating disorder - just so she'd know that Chrissy isn't just some stuck up bitch who doesn't want to shop or play dress-up or try on her clothes - it's just hard despite the fact that she would love to do this and have fun. It'd be fun if she could just pretend it weren't her own body. Or if she could dictate what someone else were trying on instead, but the whole point is to look nice herself. It feels almost like a lose/lose despite the fact that Chrissy keeps wanting to try.

"I just... get discouraged. My mom - she used to pick out all of my clothes, basically, and then took it upon herself to tailor them too." Chrissy manages to share, almost wanting to excuse her stupid behavior, or maybe it's an attempt to get Lydia to understand that she's bad at this because she never got the freedom and even though it's here now it's just... screwed up in the mix. "My mom used to bitch about the hippies in the 70s." Chrissy adds, shifting so that she can wait - thinking that Lydia is going to show her something on the phone. She's not wrong but a video wasn't what she was expecting. "Okay..."

Chrissy takes the phone and waits to actually play the video, doe eyes on Lydia as she takes in the explanation of the video. She can feel the grip of something scary and something all too close to home squeezing around her heart almost painfully making her wonder if Lydia knows. Or if she doesn't and she looks down on this. Or if she knows and she pities people like her. Or any number of things. Still, Chrissy nods in understanding - remembering the couple of times she and her mom drive to bigger cities and the two times she was drug into a Victoria's Secret and humiliated with the whole process of measurements and her mother purposefully picking a smaller size and then overcorrecting to something at least two sizes too big in cup and band. There's fear hitting Chrissy at what she's about to watch, but she trusts Lydia. She just manages a nod, and only that and taps the little opaque play button as she watches the video.

It's catchy, but it's more than catchy. Chrissy can feel the sting at the back of her nose and her eyes as she actually takes in the words and they resonate. She's trying her best not to get overly emotional or break down in front of Lydia considering she doesn't know any of what is going on, but by the time the video - the tiktok - is finished Chrissy puts the phone down and clears her throat, taking a couple of breaths to stay in control and not give into the sting behinds her eyes and nose - to not be a big baby. "I like that - will you send it to me so I can listen again later?"

Chrissy gets up so that she can actually stand and look over the options. "I like the dark pink in these flowers..." She says, tentatively picking out a pink blouse with wide, peasant sleeves, a curved neck, and dusky pink flowers and a pale pink background behind the floral print and holding it up to her body for a moment - not sure if she's sold, but... she wants to try. She follows that by picking up a black skirt - they go with everything, right? And then she nervously takes taking a breath as she sits the item aside to actually move to slip her own overly large t-shirt off to try it, back to Lydia. She wants to talk, wants to share but she can feel the tightening of her throat as she slips the shirt on and tugs it down into place, smoothing the shirt over her stomach and then beginning to pick at the neckline a little bit, then the arms, then the hem. The skirt is put on in much the same fashion, shifting and wiggling and tugging the waist up, the hem down, smoothing the top and the hips as she turns to face Lydia again. "What do you think? I can't tell if it's good or not, I just... I don't... see myself clearly, you know? Like in the song."

Lydia laughs a little. "Yeah, Klaus looks better than I do half the time," she replies. She looks over at her younger friend, giving her her undivided attention as the other girl talks about how little freedom she'd had back home. No wonder the poor thing had such a tough time picking out her clothes; she'd never been allowed to before.

"Well," Lydia starts firmly, "she's not here and I'm not going to pick out your clothes. I'm definitely not going to tailor them because I am no seamstress. That said, I'm happy to help you pick things out."

It's impossible not to notice that Chrissy's tearing up a little as she watches the video and Lydia nods mostly to herself as she crosses the room to her closet. "I got a little misty hearing it the first time, too," she says over her shoulder. "Yeah, for sure, I will. If you want, she put that song — and several other ones, if you like her sound — on Spotify. Has anybody showed you that, yet? It's sort of like radio that you get to control."

She can't help the way she watches Chrissy with interest as the other girl looks through Allison and Klaus's things in an attempt to find something she likes. It takes her a few minutes, but she settles on a pink floral peasant top and a black skirt. Lydia watches her adjust and twitch and fuss with it and Lydia's head tilts a little bit, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Mmm..." she hums when Chrissy asks for her opinion. "It's good but..."

Her voice trails off as she chews her bottom lip with consideration. Suddenly, she looks like she's having an epiphany. "Hang on, take off that skirt," she says, hopping up again and moving to her own side of the closet. A few seconds later, she locates a pair of pristine white capri-length leggings with pockets. Then she snatches up a pair of white kitten heel sandals. Lydia turns back to Chrissy then.

"I know the feeling. I think we've all been there, to some degree. Here, put these on. That top is loose and flowy, so you want to pair it with something form-fitting so you get a nice contrast. It's long because Allison was tall, so it'll cover your butt and you won't have to worry about the dreaded camel toe," she laughs. "Then these will give you a little bit of height and make your legs look longer."

She holds the leggings and sandals out to Chrissy. Once the other girl is changed into them, Lydia comes up behind her and smiles at her in the mirror as she gently puffs the sleeves with pinching, tugging motions before slipping the shoulders of the shirt down so they're just a little bit off the shoulder. "Oh yeah...that's sexy. Love this on you! Hang on, one sec," she says, moving to her dresser and picking up the jewelry box where she normally keeps her necklaces. Lydia turns to Chrissy and pops the top up. "Pick a short one and a long one. Go silver or neutral colors like the whites or beiges or, I think I have one that has some wood beads."

Edited 2022-09-25 05:10 (UTC)

"I'll take the help, though - I want to actually pick for myself... it's just hard to stop y'know thinking about if she'd approve after 17 years of hearing her. Or maybe you don't know - I don't know." Chrissy finishes lamely with a shrug. It's hard to remind herself in some moments that the mother that screamed about how fat she was, picked her entire being apart, and everything in between isn't the norm. It's not the experience that everyone has had with their mother. "Anyway, the help is enough." Chrissy forces a smile for Lydia despite her awkwardness.

"It's nice but sad to know that other people feel, or felt, this way, I guess?" Chrissy admits, unable to meet Lydia's eyes as she does. "I don't think I've heard Spotify yet - I feel like there are so many things that I just am clueless on." Chrissy jokes with a slightly put-on huff as she rubs her face to try and clear the emotion away.

Chrissy is quick to move to pull the skirt off as Lydia has an idea - switching it out for the white capri leggings and then slipping the shoes onto her bare feet - luckily they happen to be the same size shoe - as she takes a moment. She should tell her. Lydia's her friend and she can trust her and she's supposed to work on telling a few select people that she can trust to help her, but it's so hard. "Camel toe...." Chrissy tries not to smile the wording breaking her out of her mini-panic attack that was likely working it's way to full throttle based off of the internal throttle that had been hit somehow. It is cute. She still likes the pink she's just worried about getting the capris dirty - she'd feel bad. Letting out a big breath Chrissy nods, taking in the fashion advice, sort of able to see it - maybe - as she looks into the mirror as Lydia makes her adjustments. "It is really cute - don't you ever worry about getting the white dirty, though?" Chrissy asks in earnest as she leans over Lydia's jewelry box indecisively before she picks out pearls and flowers and holds them up to show Lydia, eyebrows moving up in question at the choice - feeling like they tie into her shirt, after all.

Lydia shakes her head and gives Chrissy a sympathetic smile. "I don't know...but I can imagine," she replies. "I know it's like to have to wear a mask for so long that you forget what the real you looks like, so yeah. It's not the same as not having control over my fashion choices, but it's similar in the whole not really being able to function at first without wondering what everyone else must be thinking about me," she confesses.

Chrissy's lack of familiarity with so many things Lydia's always known is weirdly endearing. She gets the same feeling when Steve or Eddie doesn't recognize a reference she's made. "I'll show you once we find me an outfit, since it's my turn next. It's really easy, though. You're still learning. Sweetie, cut yourself a little slack, you're literally just shy of 40 years in the future and you're halfway across the country from Indiana. Things are going to be wildly different here than they were back home."

When Chrissy echoes back the comment, Lydia laughs. "Once you hear the term, you can't unsee it when it happens. Whoever came up with it ought to be punched in the nuts because I'm one hundred percent sure it was a man," she replies, laughing still. With a casual, dismissive wave, Lydia shakes her head. "Oh, honey, no. Those are for the gym; they only look so white because I bought them like three days ago and haven't worn them yet. Seriously, don't even worry about it," she replies, huffing out an amused laugh.

She gives Chrissy a chef's kiss gesture. "Perfect," she agrees when Chrissy holds up the necklaces and looks at her questioningly. "Okay, now me. But you pick a few things for me to go through because it's my closet and I'm bored of it because I always reflexively pick the same things over and over. I'm going to challenge myself to pick something out of the options you give me without turning to my regular go-to pieces."

Edited 2022-09-25 06:21 (UTC)

Chrissy lets out a breath - one that she didn't know that she was holding. Lydia really does get it... the mask thing, well, Chrissy feels like she could have said that herself. She has felt like she'd had to wear a mask, adopt a whole other persona, in order to make Jason, her mother, everyone who could even remotely matter in the circle of people that she had back home, happy and to fit in where she was expected to - to live up to the expectations. "You do get it, it sounds like - that's how I feel - felt - at home. Like I was wearing a mask, being someone and so I didn't have to question who I was until I didn't have other people telling me what I was, how I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to wear... what I was supposed to eat or not eat. How to keep the weight off... " Chrissy manages to admit it.

"Between my ex-boyfriend Jason and my mother there was a lot of pressure to be perfect, to... seem perfect," Chrissy admits, sharing more with Lydia than she thinks she ever has. She manages to smile at the promise of showing her the spotify, and sharing the way that she can listen to the song - and any others she likes. It sounds good to her. "I think the perfect thing from home is hard to drop even with being out of time and place and everything. I'm still having a hard time with it."

Chrissy laughs at Lydia's tirade on the word, beginning to feel maybe the teeniest bit more relaxed around the other woman, though it's slow going. She's always afraid of doing something wrong, after all. But the important thing is she hasn't given up, right? "White at the gym? And after Labor Day..." Chrissy murmurs bemused as she looks down at them again for a moment before beaming as she gets the approval for the necklaces, putting them on with a sense of satisfaction for doing something right. "I'll try, don't judge me, though, okay?"

Chrissy asks, having heard it somewhere the other day before she crosses to the closet and considers Lydia - looking between her and the closet a few times. She pulls several options starting with a darker maroon dress with light floral print and a deep v-neck, following that up with a black three quarter sleeve V-neck and a darker tan almost brown skirt, and finally a pink almost ruffled off the shoulder blouse with a pair of tight black jeans. Chrissy lays the options out on the bed before turning back around and grabbing one more option (not feeing confident in her current haul) of pale pink maxi skirt and a baby blue button-up. At least this way there are a lot of options that Lydia can mix and match, right?

"Okay... what do you think - any of these?" Chrissy has sort of set each item out in terms of what could be an outfit, but they're close together - clearly encouraging the mix and match process because Chrissy isn't confident, though she feels like Lydia clearly looks gorgeous in every piece so there's less hesitance in grabbing some different options. "The button-up you could maybe tie up a little bit if you wore it - I don't know." Chrissy gestures where Lydia could tie it before dropping her hands, doe eyes turning to her friend to see her reaction.

Lydia starts to absently braid some of her own hair as she watches and listens to Chrissy respond. "Mmm," she agrees. "Would you believe I used to intentionally act like a brainless bimbo? That was my mask for years. Probably from the time I started middle school until about halfway through high school when...well, my entire life got turned upside down. "For me, it was to keep people from being intimidated. I've tested a genius level but I used to pretend I didn't know anything and that I wasn't good at anything, so that my perfect boyfriends still looked and felt perfect. I never had any real friends until Allison moved to town and she was the first person who ever got to see the real me. Honestly, without her help, I don't know if I ever could've fully broken free of that mask, even after everything I went through. So, yeah...I definitely get it," she agrees.

Chrissy is still new to the struggle of how to function without the mask and it shows in the way she says she's still having a hard time shaking it. "Yeah, that's the kind of thing that just has to come with time and practice. Reprogramming yourself is a lot of work, actually, and you have to put a conscious effort in. It took me almost a year to be able to just be me in front of my friends and even longer to be able to do it with strangers. You'll get there, sweetie," she assures her young friend. If Lydia can do it, surely so can Chrissy. It's not easy — nothing good ever is — but she knows Chrissy can do it.

To Chrissy's bemused comment about the arbitrary fashion rules, Lydia gives an exaggerated groan and rolls her eyes, sticking her tongue out with disgust. "Oh, screw the rules. I'm Lydia fucking Martin and I do what I want," she declares and then grins a little, sitting up straighter, waving away Chrissy's concern. "Yeah, no judgment. Hey, Chrissy? ...say it. It feels really good. Say, 'I'm Chrissy fucking Cunningham and I do what I want.' Say it," she encourages as Chrissy rifles through Lydia's closet for outfits.

Her eyebrows lift with impressed interest as Chrissy lays out outfits. "'Don't judge me,'" she mocks playfully, "she said before laying out four gorgeous outfits, two of which coincidentally are in my regular go-tos. See? You're better at this than you give yourself credit for."

Lydia gets off the bed and starts to strip off her clothes with abandon, down to her bra and panties before dressing herself again in the pink top and black pants. "This is so cute, I forgot I had this top!" she gushes happily.

"Wait - really? But you're the smartest person I think I've ever met...." Chrissy speaks, confusion lacing in her words. It doesn't take very long of knowing Lydia to realize that she is smarter than everyone around her and she knows it. It's sort of nice to see a woman who knows herself, who is capable... especially considering Chrissy's own mother's domineering control over her family had more to do with manipulation and ripping everyone down around her and very little to do with real confidence or capability that she is the one that knows what's going on. "I can't imagine you any different - I like you the way that you actually are." Chrissy admits. "I wish I could be more like you."

Chrissy really wishes she were smarter, prettier, more confident - but maybe it is much more about the confidence and intelligence that Lydia has. The looks... well Chrissy knows that she's not unattractive based on other people's opinions and she's aware enough with the steps she's taken thus far to know that the way in which she views herself isn't entirely accurate, so that she'll continue to work through, but the rest - it's just a lot, all of it.

"You could say that again... and I've got a lot that I have to try and unlearn and change, honestly." Chrissy looks down. "I'm trying to get there." Chrissy admits before a bemused smile pulls at her mouth. If it were easier to just say fuck the rules things would be a lot easier. Giggles peel from Chrissy's lips as she brings a hand up to half stifle them at Lydia's encouragement. "I'm Chrissy Cunningham and I do what I want." She says, though it's much less emphatic and said in her lighter voice without the confidence. God, she really wants to get to the same point as Lydia is, though.

The laughter falls again as Lydia teases her and there's a sense of relief that she managed to pick cute items - that Lydia likes them. "I'm trying - and it looks really good on you." Chrissy beams and claps her hands together feeling a bit more excited about her choice now. It has taken something she was afraid of, dreaded, and she can see the fun in it - at least in terms of getting to pick out what Lydia is wearing, anyway. Dropping her hands Chrissy moves to retrieve the clothes she pulled out and to put them back in the closet - feeling a little bolstered by how well things are going.

"Lydia..." Chrissy starts and only once she's hung some items back up does she turn back to her friend. "About the mask - the perfect - pretending... thanks for sharing that with me, it helps. I've been struggling for a long time with that and it's nice to know that I'm not alone... uh... I actually I have been trying to work up the courage to tell you, because I'm supposed to try and tell people I trust according to the therapist my roommate found me, that I have an eating disorder..." It's hard to get the words out, and she wants to follow it up with placating and telling Lydia it's nothing to worry about or to make it less uncomfortable but they die as she feels the fear bubble up in her gut. Instead she keeps her gaze down and business herself cleaning up - putting things back, half watching and waiting and listening waiting for Lydia's reaction.

One step at a time, right?

Lydia smiles a little, looking both humbled and endeared. "Thank you. You know, I think you're a lot more like me than you realize. Let me guess: pretty, popular cheerleader, boyfriend is the captain of whatever sport it is that he plays (probably football, basketball, or lacrosse), might not be great in class but none of your teachers care because they know you have potential you're either hiding or haven't learned to harness. Suddenly, something unexplainable and supernatural starts to happen to you and you can't explain it so you keep it to yourself and try to deal with it on your own.

"Ultimately, the supernatural thing gets you — in my case, I was attacked; in yours, you were killed — and your life changes completely and irreversibly, so now you're trying to find your way through a life that makes no sense to you because it's completely foreign to what you know — in your case, Indiana in the 1980s; in my case, high school before being knocked off the Queen Bee pedestal," Lydia rambles off as she hops up and down, wiggling herself into the skin-tight jeans that belong to Klaus and somehow ended up in the wrong part of her closet mixed in with her things. She buttons them once she's gotten her curvier hips into them and reaches for the top.

"Sound about right?" she asks, lifting her eyebrows. "You need to give yourself more credit sweetie. But you'll get there. It takes time to get settled into the new way of life and then, that's where the magic happens. At least, it was for me. That's when I finally got comfortable just being myself. Turns out, when you surround yourself with genuine people, it's a lot easier to be your genuine self. Even with my genius brain, it took being forced into an unfamiliar situation to realize that."

Lydia gives Chrissy a playfully disapproving look, wagging a finger at her. "'I'm Chrissy fucking Cunningham, and I do what I want,'" she repeats, lifting her eyebrows with playful challenge. "Say it like you mean it or I'm telling Eddie and I know he'll get you to say it," she adds with a smirk and a giggle that says she's just kidding but also that yes, Chrissy, she's noticed how close the two of you are and how much weight your opinions and thoughts carry with one another.

Once she's got the top on and she's situated herself comfortably, she strikes a pose for Chrissy. "Well?" she prompts, wondering if Chrissy agrees that the outfit was a good choice.

Happy with Chrissy's assessment, as the younger girl starts to put away the unchosen outfits, Lydia drops onto the bed and starts to work on getting the sandals on. They're a bit of a challenge given their style, so her focus is on those until she hears her name. At that, Lydia pauses and looks up, offering Chrissy a small smile at the sentiment of gratitude. She's about to open her mouth to tell Chrissy she's more than welcome, but Chrissy starts to speak again and her preface makes Lydia's expression fade into something more worried as her stomach tumbles. 'Working up the courage to tell' her something sounds to Lydia like whatever it's going to be is bad news and she has no idea what exactly she should be bracing for.

But then Chrissy continues and Lydia's jaw goes slack with surprise. It only takes a second before Lydia's brain starts snapping together pieces of a puzzle she hadn't realized were in front of her all along. The uncertainty about shopping, the proposed lack of interest in fashion even though she's got a real eye for it. All the baggy clothes Lydia had originally assumed were for the sake of comfort, especially since Chrissy teaches dance. ...the repeated but only heavily implied refusal to share clothes with Lydia and Klaus. Of course she has body dysmorphia. No wonder she teared up listening to the song.

"Oh, sweetie..." she breathes, pulling finishing quickly putting on the second sandal and getting to her feet. "Okay, first of all...I'm so glad you feel like you can trust me with something like this and I want you to know that it won't leave this room, I swear. I mean..." she pauses, putting up a finger, "unless it has to to keep you safe or something, but willfully, I won't say a word," Lydia promises.

She moves closer to Chrissy and reaches to take the other girl's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And second of all, you're Chrissy fucking Cunningham, and you're one of the bravest people I know. Do you have any idea how hard it is for some people to take that important step to see a professional and get help when they have an eating disorder? I'm so proud of you for doing that! That's amazing and you have my total support, every step of the way, whatever I can do to help, even if it's just having a silent, mini celebration with you for every little victory."

"...That's a little scary - are our stories really that similar?" Chrissy stares at Lydia wide-eyed in shock. The way that she spins it, at least, it sounds exactly alike. Sure, Chrissy is definitely not as smart as Lydia - there's no getting around that. But is she as dumb as she had kind of allowed herself to be mistaken? Absolutely. She didn't have to try very hard, though it's not like she went out of her way to do poorly at school - there were just other things that were encouraged as more important. And it sounds so stupid now to think of it that way.

How were her looks, her diet, and her perfect relationship doing her now here? They're not exactly the be all end all. But she'd let her mother dictate that the should. Her mother is probably the one massive difference she has from Lydia - that and the genius thing.

"I can feel the difference - the only downfall is it makes me really afraid of pushing you all away or losing you. Any of you." Chrissy admits - fully able to realize how much she's come to rely on each and every one of them from her roommate, to Lydia, to Klaus, to Eddie. She'd still be sneaking away to purge on the regular without a second thought and wouldn't have stepped out of skittishness if it weren't for all of them. "I think I'm trying to settle in and embrace the change, though - I like being here more than at home." Chrissy admits - knowing that even if she could go home, she's not sure that she would. And she can't decide if that's a dirty secret or not.

The laugh that bubbles up is one she can't help but let out as she grins. "I'm Chrissy fucking Cunningham and I do what I want, s'cuse me." Though there are more bubbles of laughter that escape - knowing Eddie'd be more than happy to take this mission on and who wants to know what silly tactics he'd take on. So she sort of means it, but it's laden with her amusement too - which isn't really a bad thing? "And I did pretty damn good with your outfit because you look gorgeous - maybe with a choker or something medium length so it doesn't get too near the ruffle top to go with it?" Chrissy suggests, feeling a bit lighter in making the suggestion. It helps to feel like she fits in with Lydia, like they're similar - in sharing things that are had to talk about too. But still nervous.

Nerves that apparently she doesn't need to feel - and that's such a relief and a huge weight that feels like Lydia is somehow taking directly off of her shoulders.

"I know that I should tell Eddie too, and I want to, I just don't want it to change the way that he looks at me." Chrissy admits. "But I thought that I could trust you and I'm glad I was right... and that's good - I... I'm sort of trying to tell the people that matter when I can work up to it to hold me accountable. Eddie, my roommate, made me realize that it could get dangerous so I'm trying - with help." Chrissy admits, squeezing Lydia's hands back as her eyes and nose sting again and she feels herself tearing up. The rehearsed part, the part she'd gone over in her head she managed to keep it together for, but Lydia's support does mean a lot and it touches her.

"Thanks, Lydia - I... I don't feel all that brave sometimes, but it means a lot, you know? Because I think it's the first big thing I've ever done that goes against everything my mom taught me and just...everything from my life back home. I'm trying - I was so afraid it'd make you think of me differently... in a bad way, you know?" Chrissy admits, looking down and feeling a bit foolish for ever doubting Lydia. It's just hard to silence the voices of doubt that have been so easily fed your entire life. Slowly she's working to gag them, though. One step, one friend, at a time.

Lydia shrugs. "Well, I wasn't a cheerleader in the official sense. I didn't have time for it, but if I had had time, I probably would've been. Other than that, yeah. Honestly, it seems pretty par for the course in this place. Everybody's stories are knit with similar threads." The thing is, that's true. Lydia wonders all the time how the portals almost seemed to know that when they started pulling the original wave of Supers in and just rolled onward with it.

Another small smile crosses Lydia's expression. "I like it here better, too. It's safer, for one thing. I miss my mom, but I built a life here. I have friends here. I have Klaus here..." she says, color tinting her cheeks. It's still new and it feels weird to say it out loud that she and Klaus have a relationship that's very different than the relationships Lydia has with Chrissy, Eddie, Peter, and Steve, among a handful of others she's a bit more loosely tied with past and present residents. "I could never go home to stay. Maybe for a little bit to check in, but only if I was sure I'd make it back here, so I'd just rather not risk it."

The way Chrissy bursts into giggles as she follows the instruction has Lydia laughing, too. "There it is," Lydia crows proudly before moving toward her dresser where she keeps her jewelry, again. "No, that's perfect! Chokers are coming back," she replies happily, picking out a simple black one with three small beads in the middle and putting it on. "You are too kind," she adds wryly at Chrissy's comment about her looking gorgeous in the outfit.

Her eyebrows lift with slight incredulity. "Honey, you tell him whenever you're ready to tell him and not a second sooner. But if the only thing holding you back is worrying that he's not going to look at you the same way, rest assured...I've seen the way he looks at you and learning this isn't going to change it. Not really. Boys don't really get body issues the way girls do because their body issues are totally on the other side of the spectrum, so he'll probably never really understand like I kind of can, but...it's not going to change how he feels about you. I don't know him super well, but I think I know him well enough to know he's better than that."

She takes a deep breath and lets it out softly, nodding. "It can be super dangerous. Do you...it's okay if you don't want to elaborate, but if you don't mind my asking, I can only assume it's either anorexia or bulimia...?" she asks more than says. She doesn't want to come out and ask ahead which of the eating disorders it is, but she does want to let Chrissy know why she's curious, so after a beat, she adds, "it's just if you want me to help you by holding you accountable, I sort of need to know which I'm watching for..."

Seeing the way Chrissy's eyes are starting to well up, Lydia squeezes her hands again but then lets go and pulls her friend into a hug. "You're so incredibly brave and if you can't feel it all by yourself, then I'm going to make sure you at least know it because you are." She gives Chrissy a gentle squeeze and then releases the hug so she can look at the other girl, her hands settling on Chrissy's shoulders before sliding down her arms in the way she used to do when Allison was stressed and needed to calm down. "I could never. Not in a bad way, anyway. Girl, you are so strong...it takes a lot to try to conquer something like that. Kicking bad habits is hard enough as it is, but when the bad habit is tied to a thing you need to do to literally survive, it's so much harder. So you might be the real cheerleader, but you can officially consider me your personal one from here on out."

She starts to guide Chrissy toward the bed and then to sit on it before she moves back to her dresser to grab a brush and a small makeup bag which she has filled with elastics and hair- and bobby pins. Then she moves to sit on the bed behind Chrissy. "Let me do your hair, it'll of perfectly with that peasant top and it'll keep it out of your face for when it gets all hot and sweaty in the bar," she suggests, wanting to make sure she gives Chrissy an easy out of the conversation if she wants or needs to take it. As soon as she gets a go-ahead, Lydia starts brushing and then braiding, preparing to pull Chrissy's hair up into her own signature milkmaid braids. For Chrissy, she'll keep in the pieces that she usually pulls out for effect. At least, tonight she will since these ones are meant to be more functional than stylish.

Edited 2022-10-01 02:55 (UTC)

Chrissy's not sure if it means anything that they're all from similar threads, but it is a pretty big coincidence. It seems like they all are similar, have similar trauma - god it sounds scary when she thinks of it that way. Shaking that off Chrissy shakes her head a little bit. "I don't think I'd want to go home to visit even if I could - I think being here I've realized how bad Hawkins was, and the people that I was closest to there weren't very good for me. I know Steve said something about going back, but..." Chrissy trails off with a bit of a shrug. Her realization that there's nothing really good worth going back for a freeing one.

Between feeling free with knowing there's nothing she'd go back for and the bolstering feeling of making good choices for Lydia's outfit it's... nice. Sure, it's hard to be honest about having a problem that you don't want your friend to think less of you for, but Lydia... she's doing a damned good job of making sure that Chrissy doesn't feel that, and the bolstering effect - well there's nothing bad to be said about where that puts Chrissy mentally.

"You really don't think it'd change anything? I feel like he's used to, or has this ideal in his head, about me being one of those confident girls who doesn't struggle with this sort of thing, whose perfect - which was the image at home, it's just...not real, you know?" Chrissy admits, letting out a heavy breath. It's probably telling how much it clearly means to her not to change how things are with Eddie, but it's hard to care how much Lydia knows when it feels good to actually... speak the words out loud and let up some of the burden even if for a moment.

Still Chrissy nods the go-ahead for whatever questions Lydia has - it's not going to be easy to answer them, but she's got to try. And she takes a breath, steeling herself. "Bulimia, but I go through periods of starvation too." Chrissy admits quietly. "I think I've made Eddie feel bad because of it a few times because I didn't want to eat around him, didn't feel comfortable - I tend not to eat around people unless I have to, but that's something I have to work on moving forward." Chrissy admits - already scared about how hard it's going to be, but like everyone who knows has said - it's going to be hard but at least she's trying? Even if she's not perfect, no matter how hard that piece of this puzzle is to accept.

The hug is a welcome piece of comfort and Chrissy tries to let her breath out steadily rather than in a shaky mess. "You're a really good friend, you know that, Lydia?" Chrissy asks, still a little soppy and teary, but meaning it with everything - she can use as many cheerleaders for the road that is ahead of her as she can get. And she plans on trying to keep them for as long as she possibly can. She hopes for good. "I never had people in my corner - for real - until I came through here and met you and everyone else - and got closer with Eddie. I don't think I'd be doing this if I didn't have better support, so...thanks, really." Chrissy says, throat closing a little, voice full of emotion as she takes a seat on the bed to let Lydia do her hair and just relaxing.

Which is hard to do given the emotion, but here with Lydia - it's safe to, at least.

Lydia nods a little, understanding. "If I wasn't so close with my mom, I'd never go back at all. I wouldn't even think of it. Or if she ever decided to come here, I'd never go home. So I get it," she assures the other girl.

She smiles sympathetically at Chrissy when the younger girl admits her worry about Eddie finding out. "Chrissy, I think after getting to know you a little, if he hasn't already figured out that you aren't the girl he thought you were in high school, then he's an idiot and he'll never figure it out," she says with a soft laugh. "I think he cares enough about you that the only thing that would change is that he might be able to be more supportive than he can be when he's in the dark. I don't think for a second that he'd think less of you, though, Chrissy. He's crazy about you. You have to know that by now..."

Lydia takes in a deep breath and sighs it out gently, nodding, when Chrissy explains. "Yeah, bulimia's tough. It can definitely be dangerous but, on the plus side, it's a lot slower to show its effects than anorexia is. They can both do a lot of the same things and, if left alone long enough, both can kill you eventually, but bulimia will take a lot longer and since you're at least still eating something it'll be maybe — hopefully — easier to battle than anorexia would have been. And, you know, the more people you trust enough to tell, the more people you'll have on your support team," Lydia says into Chrissy's hair before offering her friend what she hopes is a reassuring smile as they separate from the hug.

"I try to be, anyway," she says softly when Chrissy tells her she's a good friend. "You'll have so many people in your corner now, so you'll never have to worry about going into the proverbial battlefield alone ever again," she adds as she runs the brush through Chrissy's hair over and over, letting the bristles massage the other girl's scalp a few times before she finally puts the brush down and uses her fingernails to create a middle part from Chrissy's forehead down to the nape of her neck.

She pushes one side of the part over Chrissy's shoulder to keep it out of the way and brushes the other side a few more times before she separates it into three pieces at the base of Chrissy's head, just behind her ear, and plaits it gently, securing it with a clear elastic. Then, she repeats the process on the other side of Chrissy's head. Finally, she draws one braid up and over Chrissy's head, pinning it in place behind her opposite ear before doing the same with the other braid. She's careful to make sure she hides the ends secured with the elastics behind other parts of the braid. The whole process takes maybe six or seven minutes.

"Shake test. Shake your head and let me know if it feels pretty secure. If not, I can add more bobby pins," she tells Chrissy, putting her hands on Chrissy's shoulder softly and smiling a little.

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