wonafight: (007)
Steve Harrington ([personal profile] wonafight) wrote in [community profile] portalhopping2022-09-21 12:09 pm

(no subject)

WHO: Caleb and Steve Harrington
WHAT: Realizations and Confessions
WHEN: .September 21
WHERE: John Random Memorial Park Downtown

Steve had learned a lot about himself over the last few years. He’d learned about the shallowness of popularity, the undying bravery of children, how easily his heart could break and how, sometimes, the most unexpected people could come along to make a person feel whole again.

To say that he had an inkling that he could be attracted to boys might be giving him too much credit. There was only one thing that his father had told him not to be over and over again and that was a disappointment. Being attracted to men would certainly fall into that category, even more so than failing to get into Tech after he’d graduated. While his dad had come close to kicking him out of the house for the second, he wouldn’t have hesitated for a second if it had been the first. So even if he had been able to entertain the thought - which he had never allowed himself to do - it wouldn’t have been one that fit in with the role he’d been raised to fill.

But then he’d found himself in Eglaf. And suddenly he hadn’t had the support of his parents, or even his friends, and he’d had to carve a place out for himself on his own. He’d met Lydia and Casey, Caleb and Sally. He’d built a life away from Hawkins and his parents and somehow it hadn’t blown up in his face. In fact, it’d just gotten better and better. So good, that now he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to go back to 1986. Not to stay.

And it had been here that things had begun to shift. That he had started to understand how feelings could become difficult to name. He had thought that ache of loneliness in watching Caleb and Sally together had been one of jealousy. A fear of being left alone. But even now, knowing that they should all be happy, that they were all getting what they wanted, he had begun to understand that the feeling of wanting more wasn’t going away.

The filter had been the only piece of solid evidence that he wasn’t making it all up in his mind. That he wasn’t trying to sabotage the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. That he wasn’t confusing feelings of friendship with feelings of attraction. As much as he’d wanted to fight it, initially, finally giving into what he’d been feeling for a while now had actually felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

He takes off from work a little early, finding a bench in the busy park and looking out across the pond in the middle of it as he waits for Caleb. His knee bounces nervously, his fingers tapping against his jeans. He can’t seem to get enough air into his lungs, even when he takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. He knows he has nothing to be afraid of - Caleb is one of his best friends - but he feels terrified, nevertheless. He actually wishes he had a certain nail covered bat, just to ground him, despite there not being any demogorgons in sight.



WHO: Sally and Steve
WHAT: Boyfriends
WHEN: September 21
WHERE: Apartment 202
While he had wanted to meet with Caleb outside of the apartment just in case things went differently than he had hoped and he didn’t want to have to remember it every time he was home, he knew it would be easier to find Sally there. His roommates had given him space to work things out, somehow both knowing exactly how much of a loop this would throw him for.

Sally, especially, had been understanding, considering that he suddenly had a whole new aspect to his sexuality that neither of them had known about when they’d agreed to start dating.  They had just gone from friends to roommates to well - <i>more</i> - though neither of them had really used the words girlfriend or boyfriend.  They were in a relationship, where they were allowed to kiss and touch and be intimate when they felt like it.  And that had felt - amazing - over the last few weeks.  Not only to be able to give affection to Sally, doing his best to make her feel as loved and important as she was, but to be able to accept affection in return.  He hadn't known it was possible to think more of her, but every day he found that wasn't true.  Nothing had changed, but somehow everything had also.  It was a lot to try to wrap his head around even without this, but here he was.

It’s not that he’s been putting off talking to her, but more that he wants to know exactly what he wants and needs to say before he does. He doesn’t take long - a little over 24 hours - to appear at her bedroom door, but he still feels guilty anyway. He knocks softly, even though he knows Caleb is out. “Hey, Sal? It’s Steve.”
atypically: (confident)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-09-21 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Caleb had been admittedly surprised upon seeing Steve responding to Robin's post. He hadn't said anything about being queer and Caleb would've assumed that he would be the first person Steve would tell, other than Robin herself, when he let himself come to the realization. And yet, he hadn't said anything. At first, Caleb had felt a little hurt by that. If anyone could understand what it felt like to have a sudden realization that changes how he thought about himself in an existential way, it would be Caleb because Caleb went through it when he realized how he'd felt about Adam. It was admittedly easier for Caleb because he'd grown up in a time and culture where, while not perfect, it's a lot more accepted and it hadn't rocked him as roughly to his core the way he can only assume the realization must've for Steve.

But then he'd responded to Caleb's surprise and the hurt was replaced with a heavy dose of empathy. It can't be easy for Steve given the way he was raised and the culture he'd grown up with.

Caleb had offered to be there to talk about it with and Steve had agreed, but with the caveat that he'd needed time to process and since Caleb thought that was more than fair, he agreed. Now that Steve seems to be ready, even though he kind of wishes that they'd met up at a place they could grab a bite, Caleb heads to the park around the time Steve would get out of work instead. It makes sense when he thinks about it. Steve wouldn't want to have a conversation like this somewhere it's possible to be overheard. It had taken Caleb a few minutes to realize that was why he hadn't suggested meeting at the Chinese food place they usually frequent.

As Steve comes into view and Caleb continues moving toward him, through the grass to cut across instead of taking the long way around by following the path, he reminds himself not to get his hopes up that Steve wanting to talk this out will change anything for Caleb. Just because Steve might've realized something new about himself doesn't mean that Caleb has anything to do with the realization. Getting his hopes up that he does is setting himself up for the crushing disappointment of unmet expectations and he doesn't want to do that. Not to himself and not to Steve.

When he gets close enough that he can tell Steve has seen him, too, Caleb lifts his chin in greeting before following it with a quick wave. He picks up his pace to a lazy jog and closes the remainder of space between the two of them in a few seconds before dropping down on the bench beside his best friend. "Hey man, how was work?" he asks, figuring maybe the way Steve's knee is bouncing is an indication that he's nervous about the conversation, making it Caleb's job to break the ice and try to set the tone as casual and warm. Hopefully, that'll help Steve feel more comfortable.
atypically: (ncentineo204)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-09-22 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
Steve answers his question but the tone with which he does so tells Caleb that he's not interested in the attempts to offer Steve a chance to stall a little bit and ease in. It's not rude, but it's dismissive. He gets right to the point.

Caleb is practically choking on the thick fog of deep red anxiety wafting off of Steve in tidal waves and he can't help noticing the way his knee is bouncing anxiously.

When he asks his question, Caleb realizes why. And he pauses for a second to consider before shaking his head. "No... I mean, in retrospect, absolutely, but at the time, it didn't register to me that it wasn't just my feelings. That happens sometimes. So when I think back on it, yeah, I picked up on it, but at the time, it didn't really, I guess, compute."
atypically: (happy)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-09-24 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
Caleb holds his hands up in a placating gesture. "No it's totally fine. You gotta process however you gotta process, my guy, don't even worry about what it looks like. And it doesn't, by the way. Look like that, it looks like you're freaking out because you just learned something existential about yourself from a fucking filtered post and you're still trying to wrap your head around it. I'd freak out too if that was how I figured myself out."

He reaches over and claps a hand against Steve's back before giving his shoulder a little squeeze and then letting his hand fall away again to give Steve some space.

"What? No," Caleb laughs. "You can't make somebody more gay, asshole." He takes a second to laugh in earnest, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, color flooding into his face. "I just meant...I mean...you know what you look like, man. I have eyes," he adds, ducking his head and clearing his throat.

Then he remembers Steve mentioned there was a more important part and he latches onto it to change the subject back to Steve. "Anyway, so what's the most important part, then?"
atypically: (1nt2bd)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-09-24 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
"It took an embarrassingly long time, actually. Because I've always been really bad at picking out my own feelings. It's hard to tell which ones are mine, sometimes," he confesses. "But it just kind of hit me one time when Adam and I were studying. I think he kind of brought the subject up. I almost fucked up, then. I almost drove him away denying it because I couldn't process it properly, but I didn't, thankfully." He shrugs. "It wasn't as dramatic as being outed by a filter," he adds sympathetically.

He watches Steve as the other man starts to speak again. He feels nervous and that makes Caleb nervous, too. He mirrors Steve's gesture of running a hand through his hair, mostly by reflex because it's become a new nervous tick. It's difficult to try to ignore the ray of hope he can feel blossoming in his chest, one that's steadily being stifled by the guilt of realizing that that hope isn't very faithful to Sally.

But then Steve stops talking and Caleb feels his chest tighten and stomach flutter. "Are you talking about me?" he realizes aloud. He huffs out a surprised laugh. "My guy...I've low-key had a crush on you since the day I fucking met you. But I was with Adam back then and then we became so close and I knew you were straight, so I just kinda filed it away."

He looks back at Steve and offers him a small, sheepish smile before taking a deep breath and sighing. "Shit, man...this just got complicated, didn't it...?" he asks, sounding a little uncertain.
atypically: (mLZjMH)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-09-25 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Looking down with a small smile, Caleb nods. He knows the feeling and understands it entirely too well. He went through it when he and Adam shifted from study partners to friends and finally to partners. As Steve's voice trails off, Caleb looks back up again, smiling sheepishly. "Grew up?" he supplies helpfully.

A sigh escapes him and Caleb shakes his head. "You don't sound like an idiot, fucking stop that," he says, elbowing Steve in his side. "I can't choose, no. ...we should talk to her. This could work, you know. If she's comfortable with it, there are relationships with more than two people in them, man. But we'd have to make super sure she's comfortable with it. I'd be game if you were and she's cool with it..."

Caleb reaches over and pulls Steve's hand away from his face. "It's complicated, but it's not impossible. Don't stress out yet." He's trying so hard not to show his own hope and excitement at the prospect of having affectionate and intimate access to Steve, too. Sally's incredible and he wouldn't trade her for the world, not even for Steve...but if he can have them both...
atypically: (ncentineo255)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-10-01 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Steve's answer doesn't make very much sense to Caleb and it shows on his expression, but he doesn't ask. Not right now. Steve's got a lot going on in his head and the last thing he needs is Caleb asking questions that don't matter right now when he can always ask later.

Caleb shrugs a little. "I don't know how it works, either, man. I've never done it. But I know that people do it and if they can make it work, we can, too. But the thing is...I think no matter how we do it, someone will get hurt every once in a while. We've all got feelings for each other. There's no way to avoid that, but the way we deal with it is what's important. If we deal with it in a healthy way, then it'll be just like any other relationship. People get hurt in perfectly good relationships, work it out, and keep on going every day, my guy. Why can't we?" he asks.

Giving Steve's hand another squeeze, Caleb nods. "You do, yeah. And then we do, I think. I don't know. We're all going to have to talk about it at some point, no matter what, I think. Don't you?"
atypically: (happy)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-10-07 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Huffing a laugh, Caleb rolls his eyes and casually drapes an arm around Steve's shoulders before leaning the side of his head against the side of Steve's. "As if either of us would remember to use it," he jokes, lifting his head again, giving Steve a little squeeze, and then removing his arm. He doesn't want to linger too long lest they both feel guilty because they haven't talked to Sally yet.

He looks back at Steve and nods to the sentiment that he knows the other man. Yeah, he does. At least, he knows as much as Steve will let him, give or take some rogue emotions.

When Steve says that he loves Caleb, Caleb's stomach flips and his breath catches in his throat. Hearing it out loud makes it feel real and he can feel his heart starting to race with anticipation even though that's as far as this goes until they can talk to their girlfriend.

With a smile, Caleb takes Steve's hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "I love you, too," he says, "just like I love her." He's confirming that they're on the same page. "And it makes you a demisexual. Welcome to the Alphabet Mafia, my guy." He lets go of Steve's hand and pats the other man's knee. "You good? No gay panic?" he asks, only half-joking, a lopsided grin taking over his expression.
atypically: (ncentineo066)

[personal profile] atypically 2022-10-08 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
In spite of himself, Caleb laughs. "Don't get too big for your britches, bud," he teases.

His eyes scan over Steve's face as he speaks. "What kind of things?" Caleb wonders aloud. In spite of himself, he smiles a little. "I'm glad you're not running. I'm looking forward to talking to Sally about this all, now. I have a really good feeling about this, man."

He looks out in front of them before glancing back at Steve. "Should we go grab some fuel for said conversations?"
atypically: (Default)

end?

[personal profile] atypically 2022-10-23 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
It's something Caleb secretly expected to come out at some point or another. Steve is a gorgeous guy from a small town in the 1980s. Of course he was an asshole in high school. He probably went around calling people he didn't like faggots. Hell, he's from the midwest, so it actually might not surprise Caleb if Steve had dropped an N-word or two in his heyday. "But you understand now and you grew as a person. So, you know, maybe cut high school Steve a little break. He lived in a Bible belt bubble, after all."

Caleb grins at the hopeful look on Steve's face and he nods, nudging his shoulder against Steve's. "Yeah, I do. She didn't want to choose between us. I genuinely can't see her begrudging us for not wanting to choose between her and each other. She's not like that, you know she isn't. It's gonna be fine, I really feel like it will be."

Taking Steve's hand, Caleb gets to his feet and slaps his free hand against Steve's shoulder before letting go of him entirely. "Chinese?" he asks before he starts to lead them both back out of the park to find something to eat on the way home.
passedthedoor: (cute)

[personal profile] passedthedoor 2022-09-23 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Sally's on her stomach with a book splayed on the foot of the bed in front of her when she hears the knock, her feet still in the air where they were swinging to and fro while she was reading. The palazzo pants with the black, blue, and yellow honeycomb pattern on them have pooled at her knees and her stomach is bared with the off-white asymmetrical, mid-drift bearing tank top. Her curls are contained in a low ponytail at the base of her neck. Slipping the bookmark into the book, Sally calls out automatically, "It's open - come in!" Sally calls moving to roll onto her side as she extends even further over the edge of the bed so that she can deposit the book on the nightstand and shift upward so that she's up on her elbow and then sitting fully upright with her legs curling inward and tight to her body, knees angled to the left, as she pats the bed for Steve to come and join her on the bed.

"How you doing, handsome?" Sally asks, tilting her head ever so slightly as she takes him in. Her eyes are dragging over his face, his eyes, his nose, his mouth - trying to take in how he's doing after the realization that he's not entirely straight.

There's still a part of Sally that can't decide if it makes complete and utter sense or if it's a shock. It changes nothing, Sally just had no actual idea it was going on. Then again, she hadn't exactly known that the boys were trying to, basically, force the other into being the one to make a move on her either. So, sometimes, it's clearly easy for her to manage to miss the loop going on right in front of her. Either way realizing that was clearly something that Steve needed to process, and she's been waiting on him to come to her.

She wanted him to take whatever time he needed, and she knew that he would come to her, that they could talk when he was ready. And that's exactly why she assumes that he's here.
passedthedoor: (kiss)

[personal profile] passedthedoor 2022-09-24 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
Once Steve is settled on the bed Sally moves to lean into him, wrapping her arms around him, facing his side, and settling her chin on his shoulder as she gives him a loving squeeze. It's almost an afterthought that she presses a kiss to his shoulder through his shirt and she considers what Steve is saying. And boy is it a little bit confusing. Especially considering she had no idea that he was struggling and there is a big part of her that is wondering how neither she nor Caleb saw it. They're all thick as thieves, after all, but she supposes they each maybe keep a little back - especially if they're not ready to face something.

Still she thought she could read Steve - and she still, sort of, feels like she can.

"I mean, that sounds about right to me." Sally surmises, keeping things light, and shrugs her right shoulder slightly in answer to his question. "I can't think of a single person that I know of who has been outed by a filter - so I'd say you're probably the first, special one." She takes a shot at that, a light playful tease in her tone despite the fact that she clearly is supportive, and here for him - she'd been waiting for when he was ready to talk, after all.

"So you're special, if nothing else?" Sally jokes. "What's going on in that head of your's, Harrington? Penny for your thoughts now that you've had a little with them. 'Cause I think neither Caleb or I had an inkling that any of this was going on underneath the surface - you hid it pretty deep, or pretty well."
passedthedoor: (au natural)

[personal profile] passedthedoor 2022-09-25 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Good special, though." Sally clarifies for Steve, just wanting to be clear with him considering she can pretty much tell there's a lot that has been going on upstairs. It's hard because she knows that there's nothing she can do for him in this case. All she can do is be here for him, talk it out, and offer him whatever support and opinions he asks for. Beyond that the hard work is on him. Even though she'd love to be able to actually help him and do some of the work for him.

"I mean, yeah - of course they were different. Different time, place, mindset - so I get why you didn't realize what was happening, honestly, Steve. There was a part of me that was surprised that you accepted Caleb as easily as you did despite the time and place that you're from. In a good way." Sally supplies, her head tilted as she watches Steve. "So I get it - and I can see how that happened." She gives his hand a squeeze, taking everything in what she sees is a stride because, well, she feels like he needs that. He needs her steady, easygoing side right about now. He doesn't need her making these realizations into some insane ordeal.

"Sometimes that's how it happens." Sall nods, evenly, though the curiosity is bubbling up. There's a slight... inkling of who he is talking about, who the guy could be, but at the same time she doesn't want to speak it, say it, for him. She doesn't know who it could be for sure. "Who's the lucky guy?" Sally teases, offering a soft smile and half waiting on the name Caleb to fall from his lips.

If she's wrong she's not sure what they'll do, but she knows that they'll handle it together. And she knows currently that nothing has changed between them - it could, but it could change in just... they're all having relationships with multiple people. It's just figuring out what works for them because Sally, much as she loves her boys, really wants them both to be happy and explore whatever they need to explore too. She's not sure how Caleb will feel or what the reaction will be if she hears a foreign name come but she's trying to prepare... in case.
passedthedoor: (calm loving talk)

[personal profile] passedthedoor 2022-10-01 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
There's a sense of relief - and maybe a tinge of smugness as the name falls from Steve's lip, but Caleb really was the only other person that made any sense in this situation. The closeness that the boys have with each other as well as her - it just felt like the only way that those feelings would be going in this situation. If it had been someone else she's not entirely sure that Steve would have entered this arrangement, actually. Reaching up, Sally brushes some of Steve's hair back and smiles. "Does it feel better to say it out loud?"

She asks, chin still resting on Steve's shoulder comfortably as her hand moves from his hair to around his shoulders, giving him a supportive squeeze. The smile that spreads on her face is soft but lights up her eyes as Steve takes the time to clarify himself, but she doesn't question it. Instead, she only nods - as if that's the only thing that makes sense. And considering the way that she feels - there's no surprise at the fact that Steve loves them both. That's been the thread that's bound them all period - they started off with falling in love as friends, but the other feelings continued to entertain and pop up despite the initial determination to be just friends or to push certain relationships and not the others.

And fortunately for all of them, feelings don't work like that - don't do well with predetermined decisions.

"I bet that feels even better - you know that I love you too, right? It's messy and we haven't said it all to one another, but I don't have to have empathy to feel pretty sure that we all feel the same way."
passedthedoor: (braid concern)

[personal profile] passedthedoor 2022-10-09 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
"That's kind of life, handsome - it gets messy. Pretty regularly, whether we like it that way or not." Sally definitely learned that one the hard way. She can't count the number of time that she made both her life and her afterlife just... the biggest possible mess that could be made. She's definitely been more successful accepting that that's something that happens, and that she has to just roll with it and try to keep moving forward.

Life doesn't really let you arrange it neat and orderly and when it does there's always something creeping in or waiting to rearrange it from Sally's perspective.

"And I kinda like, and appreciate your mess." Sally reassures Steve, looking him in the eyes and giving him a soft smile back as she reaches up with one hand to brush his hair back a little bit - unable to help but be tactile with him. Sally lets Steve speak, watching him and hearing him out. She's not surprised in the least by where this is going and that's okay with her. Maybe it wouldn't have been at another time. Maybe she would have felt differently if this situation weren't like it is. She, Caleb, and Steve are so connected to one another that it makes this entire situation very different.

"Steve - I don't want you to have to lie to anyone and I'm not worried about not being enough for you. I know that there are a lot of feelings involved between the three of us and I know what it feels like to not be able to pick between two of the three of us. I want all of us to be happy and if the two of you want to pursue thing with each other too let's have that conversation - all three of us. I just want all of us open, honest, and happy in this thing we have going." Sally reassures Steve, wondering if maybe he didn't think that she would be okay with it, but honestly there's a part of her that isn't shocked. They're close and it's more heteronormativity that the expectation is that there wouldn't be feelings there.

It's a testament to how close they are and how strong their bonds are that this is where they're at - and even that Steve has gotten to the point where he can feel comfortable and safe enough expressing this, anyway.