portalhopping | text & video; closed*

text & video; closed*

TEXT; PEOPLE WHO KNEW RICHIE TOZIER

I just wanted to let you know that, even though he'd planned to come back, I noticed today that his things are gone, so I can only assume that means what it usually does. So, yeah. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

VIDEO; CHRISSY

[ He's trying to look casual, but if she's paying enough attention, she'll notice the third bedroom's door ajar behind him for the first time since she's moved in and there's a vacancy in his eyes that doesn't normally live there. ]

Hey kiddo...you think you'll be okay for a couple of days on your own? Maybe you could stay with Eddie and Lydia so you'll feel less inclined to...

[His voice trails off awkwardly and he gives her a sheepish look. ]

...you know. What do you think? I can hold off if you need me to, but I just...kind of want to step away from the apartment for a couple of days, if you think you'll be all right. If not, like I said, I'll hold off and it'll be fine.

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[Stan rakes his hand down his face, the corners of his eyes tugging downward and the scarred skin crinkle and wrinkling with the movement as he sighs. He's silent because it's a heavy piece of news - and because Olivia is sleeping in the background.]

Shit, man...

[Stan sighs, not sure of what to say for a moment before he manages to speak.]

How are you holding up? Do you need anything?

[Stan can feel the sadness, practically, even though it was a text - and he knows Eddie's not okay, so that's why he doesn't even ask. There's already a part of Stan ready to plan to return to Eglaf and cut the rest of his trip short - Eddie matters too much to let him just suffer alone.]

[ Eddie could've really done without Stanley switching the format to video, but he goes with it. He can see his goddaughter sleeping in the background and he can't help thinking that she's getting big. Stan's been in Atlanta for a while, now, scratching his homesickness itch and working on some business prospects and Eddie realizes just how fast babies grow.

He sighs, shrugging. They've kept in touch plenty while Stan's been out of town, so he's in the loop about the fact that Eddie has a new roommate and that she's just a kid. He hasn't shared what's going on with Chrissy beyond that she's sick and he's going to get her help. ]

It is what it is. He'd have come back, Stan. ...I think he forgot. Like when we were kids and moved away and forgot. So...you know.

[ Eddie shrugs again. ]

I'm gonna see if Chrissy'll be okay if I hit the road for a while. I need to get out of here for a little bit. ...I feel like shit because I don't know how long he's really been officially gone. I only go in there once every couple of weeks to dust shit off. You know?

[ He waves it off like it doesn't matter even though they both know it does. Eddie would rather shift the focus away from how he's feeling about this. He wouldn't have even said anything at all and would've just shot Caleb and Stanley text messages privately to let them know, but he can't remember if there were any others who had known or been close to Richie, since Trashmouth has been gone for months trying to iron out details and tie up loose ends before coming back here to be a lifer. So much for that. ]

How's it going in Atlanta? How's my little princess, huh?

I know he would have come back - you don't have to tell me, Eds.

[Stan agrees - not that he thinks Eddie needs it, but because it's the only thing that he can really say in the moment. Reaffirming that Richie probably forgot feels somehow wrong.]

She'll be fine. [Stan sits up a little bit. His declaration that Chrissy will be fine is not so much placation as just knowing that the teenager will get by while Eddie is gone - that gut feeling that he always has about things.] And you can't beat yourself up over that - do you really think that, somehow, torturing yourself by constantly monitoring his bedroom would have helped anything? It doesn't matter how long he's been officially gone in the scheme of things, man. Richie might have joked about you keeping constant vigilance over his room or whatever, but we both know he wouldn't want you beating the shit out of yourself for something like this.

[Stan looks right at Eddie, purposefully.]

If you need to get away from there - you can see how Liv is for yourself - she misses you, you know?

[Stan moves so that he can show Eddie a shot of the sleeping toddler with her thumb tucked in her mouth, fingers curled against her face with slightly pink sleepy cheeks.]

It's going pretty well on the business side of things - and Liv's been charming everyone along the way. But if you want to get away you could join us and we can just take a breath, you know?

Yeah, I know, man. I know.

[ Eddie scrubs both hands over his face and then lets them fall away as he sighs. ]

I'm not, it just feels shitty not knowing, you know what I mean?

[ He gives his friend a sad smile and nods. ]

I miss you guys, too. I think I'm going to go home for a few days. Just...I know it's not actually home, but just somewhere that's not here but that's still familiar. But thanks, man, I appreciate that. You really have always been the best of us.

[ Swallowing thickly, Eddie looks down for a moment before looking back up. ]

You think you guys are staying up there a lot longer? Don't come rushing back here thinking my pathetic fucking ass needs you, because I'll be fine, I'm just curious.

Edited 2022-09-20 02:07 (UTC)

Yeah, I know. [Stan might be one of the few people who can say that and it's pretty much always accurate - he never says it unless he does know.

He knows how Eddie's feeling - but he also gets the sense that Eddie is going to be all right, even if this is a pretty rough setback and it's going to be really hard on him.]

I get the urge to go back home - I mean I'm in Atlanta, but do you want us to come with you? You don't have to be alone - or pretend with me. And it's not a big ask either.

[Stan clarifies the offer, concern written on his face for his friend.]

Yeah, probably next week should have everything all settled by that point - and we both know you don't need me, but you could use a friend right about now even if you don't want to make the ask, am I warm?

No, no...no, that's okay, man. I appreciate it, but no. I think I have to do this by myself. I'll stop in Atlanta on my way back down here, though, if the offer stands.

[ It's not a big ask, Stanley says, but if he knew that Eddie was still trying to decide between Manhattan and Maine on the off chance that Derry exists here, there's no fucking way he would still say that it wasn't a big ask to ask Stan to come with him. No way. Besides, even if they did kill It back home...bringing Stan's baby to Derry would never for even a second occur to Eddie as an option. No fucking way.

He huffs a small laugh, shrugging. Stan's always been too intuitive for his own good. ]

Yeah, I mean...it wouldn't suck, but I don't want you to come. I gotta do this by myself. Worst case, I'll see you next week, anyway, right? But I appreciate the offer. I really do, Stanley.

I'm holding you to stopping in Atlanta on your way back, then - the offer definitely didn't go away in the span of what fifteen seconds, if that?

[Stan smiles, but it doesn't crease around his eyes because it doesn't quite reach despite the amusement playing there for his friend.

He knows to let it go and he doesn't have to question why, or interrogate Eddie. Instead of going with him he'll just make the arrangements so that when Eddie is ready to leave Atlanta they can go together - Losers stick together, after all. Even if he's been away from Eglaf he's been reachable.

Still somehow isn't the same, but Stan's coming back with Eddie his mind is already made up.]

Have it your way - but you stop in Atlanta on the way back. You're seeing me before next week, man.

I meant if the offer still stands when I'm on my way back, asshole.

[ He laughs in spite of himself, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. ]

I'll let you know when I'm on my way back down so you can give me an address to pop into the GPS. I'm thinking Thursday or Friday. I told Chrissy I'd be back by the weekend. She's a good kid, I'll have to introduce you when you get back to Eglaf.

It's not going anywhere, trust me.

[Stan grins, at least he got a laugh even if he is no Richie Tozier.]

Sounds good - and I can't wait to meet her, you make her sound pretty damn special. You've gotten pretty attached to her, huh?

She's pretty special, yeah. It's hard not to get attached to her. She's like Prim, like that, with the big doe eyes and the sad life story but a plucky demeanor. She's just a really good kid and she deserves better than the hand she was dealt. We have some crappy things in common, but if I can break her out of it before this place broke me out my shit then, y'know...maybe she won't have to waste as much time as I did. She's still young enough for that to matter.

I feel bad, I promised her I'd help her through her stuff, and now here I am leaving her when she's barely gotten started, but hopefully a phone call every night to check in will suffice. That should be good, right? Or is that too much?

I've got a pretty good feeling that she won't have to waste as much time - and that you're as good for her as you think.

Leaving for a little bit to get your head on straight isn't going to throw that off any, Eds. You're not abandoning her and a call every night should be good, just trust your gut because it's not led you wrong with her yet.

I hope you're as right about that as you are about most things, Stan.

[ It isn't his place to share Chrissy's story with Stan but a part of him wants to unload all of it and get a second opinion to make sure he's doing the right thing. He's found her a short list of therapists that specialize in eating disorders, but who knows whether any of them will feel like a good fit for her? There are places he could ship her off to that would help her even more, but they require inpatient treatment and he doesn't think she'd go for it. The last thing he wants is to betray her trust by springing something like that on her, but he kind of thinks he should. It'd be nice to run it by Stanley to see what he thought since Stan's always been good at looking at a much bigger picture. ]

Yet being the key word, there... I also told her to call me if she needs anything, so hopefully, she'll take me up on that if she feels like she needs to.

I don't think my gut has led me wrong before.

[Stan offers with a half-shrug. His gaze on his friend is steady and unwavering.]

I don't think that you will lead her astray, man. Just trust yourself a little here - you've seen the wrong choices made often enough that you know what the right thing to do is. And I'm always here as a sounding board, god knows when Oli gets a little bigger I'll probably pay it forward in spades.

There's a first time for everything, let's just hope this isn't that.

[ He gives Stan a sheepish smile. ]

I know, this is just new territory on a lot of levels, so...here's hoping I don't fuck it up. And yeah, I know, thanks man. I'd say I owe you but I feel like we'd just be playing tennis with IOUs until the end of time if I did.

[Stan only gives a small smile - trusting that he's not wrong, but he gets that just repeating himself didn't help Patty and it's not going to help Eddie either.]

Just remember - you're not perfect and even if you make mistakes you're doing better than most of our parents ever did, especially your's. Just take it as your turn, next time it's mine, I'm not worried about it. I'm sure I'll need a babysitter when I get back some time and Uncle Eds sounds like the perfect guy for the job.

Yeah, I know.

[ Eddie heaves a sigh and offers a small smile, huffing a soft laugh. ]

Uncle Eds would be more than happy to do it anytime, Dad. ...thanks, Stanley.

Any time, man, and you know I mean it. Though I'm holding you to the babysitting thing too, for the record.

Just let me know if you need me - or anything in the meantime I'm a phone call or a text away.

I know you do. And good, I wouldn't have it any other way.

[ Eddie nods and gives his friend a grateful smile. ]

I will, don't worry. I appreciate it, man. I'll see you in a few days.

[Chrissy looks immediately concerned.]

Is everything okay?

[The worry slips into her voice naturally even as she nods and gives a shrug.]

I'll be okay - and Eddie and Lydia let me stay any time, you don't have to worry about me right now. I'll be okay, honestly. But what's wrong? Where are you going?

Yeah, I just...

[ He clears his throat and looks away from the camera for a second before looking back and scrubbing a hand over his face. ]

I can't really be here right now, I just need a few days to get my shit together. I went in to clean Richie's room and his shit's gone. That's what happens when people go through the portal without an intention to come back. It's kind of complicated but suffice it to say, I'm pretty sure he forgot me. I can explain that more later if you want to know, but yeah. I just need to not be in here right now, if you'll be okay. I can make it work, though, Chrissy. If you need me, I'll stay and make it work. I'll just go get a hotel room or something.

[ He clears his throat again. ]

I haven't decided yet, actually. Toss up between Manhattan and...Maine.

[ Eddie is pretty sure that Derry doesn't exist on this Earth, but a part of him still wants to go see. If it's there, maybe it would be cathartic to go down to the Barrens and stay in that fucking clubhouse for a couple of days just to feel close to the Losers again.

Part of him wants to ask Stan to come back to Eglaf, but a larger part of him will never do it. It's less about being the last Loser in town and more about Richie, so he doesn't want to drag Stanley back here prematurely for nothing. ]

I promise I'll be back by the weekend, if not sooner. Okay?

Oh, Eddie...

[Chrissy gives him a sympathetic look, sadness for the man who has been taking such good care of her - and shown her such love (though maybe that's the wrong word) despite the fact that she's, practically, a stranger.]

I'm sorry he's gone. [She doesn't really know what to say beyond that, not having met him.] I'll be okay, I'll just stay with my friends until you come back, or if Lydia wants space Eddie could come stay with me. Don't worry about me.... will you let me know when you decide and when you get there safe, though? Please?

[Chrissy hedges, worried - he promised he wouldn't leave her to do this alone, and she believes him, but there's still a part of her that is scared of somehow losing him anyway - which is stupid, selfish, illogical - so many things, but he's upset and she can't focus on that right now.]

Okay - just... please be safe and careful?

Thanks, it's...I mean, it's okay. He was happy back home, you know? Before Derry and if he forgot, like I think he did, he'll go back to being his happy, famous self. So, it's really fine. I just need a few days, that's all.

[ He nods, sufficiently satisfied that Chrissy will be in good hands with the other Eddie. Something tells him that she won't be trying to purge while she's staying with this boy she clearly likes an awful lot. ]

I'll always worry about you, kiddo. But if you think you'll be okay, then I think I'm going to go. I'm only a text or a phone call, or one of these video messages away if you need me for anything at all, okay? And I'll be back soon, I promise, like I said.

[ Eddie rolls his head on his neck a little to stretch it before nodding again. ]

I will. I'm a risk analyst. It's my job to assess all the possible risks in any given situation, so don't you worry about me. I'll let you know where I decide to go and when I get there. I'll let you know when I leave to head back down here, too. How's that?

Edited 2022-09-20 02:13 (UTC)

It doesn't mean it's not sad or that you won't miss him, though.

[Chrissy adds, understanding where he's coming from even if she's not in his shoes.]

I promise that I'll stay with Lydia and Eddie or ask him to stay with me and that if I feel like I need to... y'know that I'll talk to somebody. I can make it until you get back.

[She hopes she's not giving him an empty promise, just like she hopes he's not when he says he'll always worry and he'll be back - she just has to trust him even though it's hard. He hasn't given her a reason not to.]

If I need you I'll reach out - and that sounds good to me too. I just wanna know you're okay, that's all.

No, I know, and you're right; I will.

[ He nods and looks her in the eye intentionally staring down the camera lens. ]

You can call me if you feel like you need to and we can talk until the urge passes. You don't have to tell anybody you don't want to tell just because I'm not home when you need a distraction from the temptation.

[ He gives her a small smile and nods. ]

Okay, I know. I'll check in on you periodically anyway because I just want to know you're okay, too. That sound fair?

Okay - I'll call you if I need to. I promise.

[Chrissy gives Eddie a nod and the teeniest of nods.]

That's fair. And I'm sorry about Richie - if I can do anything while you're gone that will help let me know took okay?

Okay, I mean it. If you need anything.

[ He gives her a small smile that he wants so much to actually feel, but can't quite manage it. ]

Thank you. I will, sweetheart. I appreciate that.

Okay - I promise, really, but I'll be okay.

Okay, good. I'll see you in a few days, kiddo.

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