portalhopping | video;

video;

Guess who's back, bitches.

[ Alyssa smirks, the camera panning the inside of the DoDS as she holds her hands out for her apartment key, wiggling her fingers impatiently. ]

You better not give me any psycho roommates, right? And no one boring either. They'd better be cool.

[ She grabs the key out of the clerk's hand, twirling it between her fingers as she makes her way to the door. There's the sound of a commotion behind her and she rolls her eyes hard, turning to yell at a beleaguered man in a suit behind her.]

Fuck off, Kenneth! I didn't take anything from your desk!

[ She pushes her way through the front door, walking towards the apartment. She pulls a post it pad and a fancy pen out of her jacket, scribbling a note and sticking it on light pole as she passes it.]

Right, so what'd I miss?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( Robin is laughing when the video feed comes up. )

Man, Kenneth is just not cut out for a job at the Department of Displaced Supers...somebody needs to get that poor schlub a transfer to a new department.

Edited 2022-08-17 01:10 (UTC)

Nah, he's a total dickhead. He made me a fucking waitress.

Do you know how much being a waitress sucks? Especially here with cheap Americans who know you don't get paid a living wage and still tip for shit.

( Robin shakes her head. )

Uh uh, I've never been a waitress and I never wanna be, Jesus. That sucks, I'm sorry. I don't even remember the job they gave me because I wasn't paying attention. I'm probably just going to find a video store or something, like back home.

( Who's gonna tell her about the fall of the VHS rental? )

What? Like a porn store?

[ She hums, impressed. ]

Ew, no, imagine having to put away crusty video tapes after...that. Gross.

( She makes a little gagging sound, shaking her head. )

No, you know, like a video rental store. Do you not have those in...wherever you're from?

[ She snorts. She narrows her eyes a little. It doesn't seem like she's joking. She must be one of those. She raises her eyebrows, speaking slowly. ]

England?

[ She's being intentionally obtuse. She sighs. ]

Video's dead. People watch things online now. Porn too. You can still rent movies and shit, but you stream or download them. No more videos or DVDs or whatever.

Well I don't know, I don't know European accents! I'm from friggen Indiana.

( Robin turns her head just slightly, lifting her eyebrows. )

Sorry, what now? What even is a DVD? Download? What are you even talking about...?

[ Alyssa sighs, speaking a little slower. ]

DVD. I don't know, it's like a disc, yeah? A CD or whatever, but for movies. Downloads are like... you know what? I don't really have time to explain it. Google it.

[ She presses her lips together. She's being a bitch again. ]

Just, you might want to reconsider your career options.

What the hell does "Google it" mean? Oh my God, this place is like living on another planet, I swear to God.

( Robin wrinkles her nose and rubs at her temples. King Steve has a lot of explaining to do to catch her up so she doesn't sound like a moron forever. )

I'll figure it out, I guess. Whatever, like, they give us money anyway, and we don't have bills to pay, so maybe I won't bother with a job. Or maybe Steve can get me a job at—no, actually. No. No. No more scooping ice cream for this girl. I'll have to just go get a paper and check the classifieds or whatever, I guess.

[ She sighs heavily. ]

Look, it's obvious you're not from now. There's a lot to cover. Just trust me when I say you've got a lot of catching up to do.

You don't have to get a job, but the money doesn't go far, even with the free rent.

[ She pauses, taking a deep breath as if being nice physically hurts her. ]

If you want help with the job search meet me at Grump's Cafe tomorrow at noon. I'll be looking for one myself. I can help you, or whatever.

Yeah, no, a few days ago, it was 1986, so...no shit I've got more to catch up on than I think I'll ever actually be able to catch up on...

( Robin matches the heavy sigh, frowning slightly. What a royal pain in the ass, being from that far behind. At seventeen years old, she's got more than twice as many years of pop culture and technological changes to try to figure out. Literally...how is she going to figure it all out?

The other girl offers her some help in her job search, though, and Robin perks up. It's hard for her to make friends with people because she talks so much and so fast all the time. People struggle to keep up with her or they get annoyed at her and they give up on her. Steve's the only one who hasn't, so far. Maybe she can do better here. )

Really? That would be awesome, thank you! Oh, I'm Robin, by the way. I don't think I introduced myself, did I? Sorry, sometimes I'm kind of forgetful like that.

Fucking hell.

[ She might have just bitten off more than she can chew. Not that she's one to back down. ]

Then you're going to need to follow my lead, all right? No one's going to hire you if they know you're from the fucking dark ages.

[ She nods. ]

Alyssa. 12 o'clock, yeah? And bring enough for a tip.

Yeah, tell me about it.

( Robin wrinkles her nose a little bit. )

Dark ages? Geez, it wasn't that long ago... But yeah, okay, I can do that. I'm good at following the lead.

( No the hell she isn't, but she thinks she is, so color Robin Buckley game for it. )

Got it. I'll borrow some money from my friend from home. He'll know better than I would how much to bring. I can't imagine that inflation stagnated for thirty years, so...

( She clears her throat, shaking her head and waving a hand dismissively. )

Anyway, okay yes. Noon at Grump's cafe, bring tip money. I'll see you then, Alyssa. Thanks again!

[ Caleb looks a little surprised, pleasantly. ]

Wow, somebody's in better spirits this time around. 'sup, Alyssa. Welcome back.

Call me Sally Fucking Sunshine. Actually, don't.

You look different, emo boy. [ She squints at the screen. ] Good, even.

Don't worry, I wouldn't go that far.

[ Caleb huffs a laugh and rolls his eyes. ]

Yeah, well, I guess aging five years will do that to a guy. Thanks. It's good to see you again.

You're joking. Five years?

No wonder you look buff. Though you're near ancient now.

Ancient?! I'm only twenty-two!

[ He laughs with amused incredulity. ]

I was more buff when I was a teenager because I was still actually playing football and shit. I'm just less lean now, I guess.

Twenty-two, you're basically on your deathbed!

[ She grins at him. It is good to see a familiar face. ]

Is less lean your way of saying fat? You're not fat, Caleb. Bulky, maybe. Hefty, even. But not fat.

[ Caleb laughs again, rolling his eyes. ]

Basically.

[ He holds up a finger and shakes his head. ]

No, less lean is not fat. Bulky, stocky...whatever. Admittedly, I do have a little bit of a beer belly, but like barely. Less lean was a nicer way of saying I'm not a gangly teenager anymore.

Beer belly? Gross.

[ Alyssa scrunches her nose. ]

Well, keep it fit. There are already enough fat Americans in the world. And you're too good looking to be bulky, stocky... whatever.

[ Caleb snorts a laugh, shaking his head. ]

Jesus fuck, Alyssa, tell me how you really feel.

[ She grins back. ]

Just looking out for ya.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only